Online Dating and Love Information Articles

Light and darkness can not remain at the same place at the same time. Similarly, stress and meditation can not remain at the same place. If you meditate regularly, there will be no stress in you. In that situation, what is there for you to manage? You will be like the manager, without the portfolio!

What is the source of stress? It is the agitations and waves in your mind. Mind does not have an independent status. It doesn’t have its own territory. It doesn’t even have a small plot, to call its own. It is a bundle of thoughts. Mind is minding. When it gets the minding business, more than its capacity, it is said to be under stress.

Thought process is a continuous process. It can’t be stopped as such. But the true import of your thoughts can be understood. Medication is a great technique to understand your thoughts. When you properly reflect upon your thoughts, you will realize that they do not have any power as such. They try to overpower you with their ‘mind-blowing’ tricks. When you make them understand their true nature, they wag their tail like a faithful, obedient dog!

Meditation calms you down and in the process, nullifies the stress effect. Can you gain anything from negative thinking- which is the cause of stress? Meditation works at three levels of your personality to reduce and remove your stress.

They are: the physical level, the mental level and the spiritual level. It relaxes the various important parts of your body such as, the brain, the lungs, the blood and the heart. These are the areas where the maximum numbers of ‘failures’ occur. Meditation is the panacea to tackle all the shortcomings in the human system.

Day spa is a word synonym for relaxation and the euphoric feeling of happiness letting you out of all your work or personal life stress. You must have heard of day spas many times, might be you being regular customer there, or tried it for once. Whatever, these provide good way to escape daily life problems and have a chance to pamper yourself and rejuvenate your body.

Day spas refer to those establishments that offer services like massages, therapies, body wraps or specialized treatments over a daytime. These processes could take any time from 1 hour to whole day and during these you are in the serene environment of a day spa, away from all tensions and daily chores and just being there with you only and for yourself only.

As per estimate, there are thousands of spas and still more are coming up. Some offer specialized services while some cater specific needs like escape day spas, couple spas etc. You just be sure to land in the right one.

I have been reading a book, the first I’ve ever seen of its kind in fact, named Soothe Your Nerves: The Black Woman’s Guide to Understanding and Overcoming Anxiety, Panic, and Fear. Though books have served as self-illumination and a sense that I am not alone in my struggles, there have only been a few books that have fit my life like a second skin. Soothe Your Nerves ranks up there with those few. Not only did the title grab my attention but as I looked at the front of the book, I knew it was exactly what I was looking for. The terminology, iridescent of the era I grew up in, and the relevance to my current struggle set the book apart from any of the others of that genre. Further, throughout my reading, my head and spirit have nodded in agreement with the author’s familiarity and perceptions.

With the exception of one other book, Love Is A Choice, no other book has had such profound relevance to my current experience. Oprah calls it an Aha moment.

One such Aha moment was when I read about the origin of the Strong Black Woman concept–“This ability to rise against overwhelming odds” discussed by the author. I must tell you, though I’ve strived to be “strong,” it’s been brutal. Tears were frowned upon as weakness or pitiful unless they were during worship. Taking it a step further, at some point you had to stop crying and start doing the holy dance; otherwise the church mothers would start pleading the blood over you and coaching you to repeat their praiseworthy declarations. “Hallelujah!” They would clap their hands while shouting “thank you, Jesus” and “glory” until you stopped that crying.

Sidebar, some good soul cleansing and relief from anxiety happened during some of those praise sessions. Still, there were other times when I felt more exhausted and frustrated afterwards than uplifted.

Sleep is something we tend to take for granted, but lack of good sleep is becoming a wide-spread problem in the United States. According to a recent poll by the National Science Foundation, only 50 percent of Americans get a “good night” sleep a few nights each week. So what is the big deal about that?

Side effects of poor sleep

Insufficient sleep or a lack of good sleep can degrade your health and affect your ability to function throughout the day. If untreated, sleep problems may lead to the following health issues:

1. Decreased immune response: A study at Washington State University found that adequate sleep was a key factor in fighting illness. If you are not getting sufficient sleep and you become ill, you may suffer from more serious symptoms and have difficulty recovering.
2. Reduced memory: According to researchers at the University of Liege in Belgium, a “good night” sleep helps the brain consolidate memories so that theyare readily available during waking hours.
3. Daytime sleepiness and fatigue: Researchers at Penn State College of Medicine have found that even one night of disrupted or missed sleep in a healthy person can drastically alter chemical balance of the body. This may cause reduced productivity and an increased risk of accidents.

We all know the word stress and most of us know when we are being stressed, but do you know the symptoms that show you are over stressed?

If you do, and can spot them early and there are some exercises and techniques explained below that can let you beat them before you need medication.

The Stress Symptoms

Almost always when you are being stressed, you will notice a tightening of your muscles, usually in the hands and arms, sometimes the legs and feet.

Your blood pressure will rise, and your skin temperature will as well. These are normal responses from your natural “fight or flight” reflex.

If you are a bit observant and watch yourself carefully, you can identify these stress responses by your body.

Short-Term Stress is Good. Long-Term Stress is Deadly

If the above stress responses occur because you are in some sort of danger, and you have to protect yourself (by fighting or fleeing), then the stress is good. However they must be controlled.

A good example is being in a long line at the airport, with a nasty airline employee greeting you after your turn finally comes. The employee can stress you to very high limits, and you need all your self-control.

You will see your stress symptoms appearing.

Your quick reaction is needed. You must assert yourself, and get the employee to do their job, and quickly, and politely.

Your fighting will be by mental means, and verbal delivery. This short-term stress was a good thing.

Your body’s reactions were healthy for you, and all your natural anti-oxidants raced throughout your body to clear up any free radicals that were present.

However, if you suffer the above symptoms from an aggressive boss or co-worker at work on a daily basis, you are heading for real trouble.

Daily stress will:

• Weaken your immune system.

• Cause various organs to malfunction or fail.

• Produce undesired chemicals (hormones and enzymes) in your system.

Eventually you will become ill if you subject yourself to a daily stress that has the ability to produce stressor-reactions.

De-Stress! And Beat Stress

If you understand that your stress is becoming chronic, you must begin to de-stress at the sign of the first symptoms.

It’s easy; anyone can do it, anywhere. Follow these steps exactly, you will de-stress at once.

What do I need to expect when I first contact a therapist, and how can I tell if they’re going to be a good one?

What Happens In The First Contact?

You’ve selected a therapist to call for an appointment. For most people, the hardest part is now: that first phone call. I thought it would be helpful to let you know what ought to happen when you call. This might decrease your anxiety about the unknown. It also gives you additional means to evaluate the therapist’s professional competence.

Keep in mind what I said before: I am describing here a “perfect” encounter, and your experience can be helpful if it is a little less than perfect. Use the following scenario as a guideline to judge the relative competence of your prospective therapist.

In your very first phone call, you will probably encounter either an answering machine or (less likely) a receptionist. With either, you only need to leave the following information:

That you want to talk to the therapist
Your name and telephone number
Briefly, when you can be reached

That’s it. At this time, it is not necessary to explain the reason for your call. You should never have to discuss the reason that you want to talk to the therapist with anyone except the therapist. A receptionist is NOT entitled to know and should not ask. If he/she does, a red flag should go up for you because the secure frame is already being broken.

You also shouldn’t have to convince the therapist to see you. I think it would be extremely unusual that any therapist in private practice would not agree to see you at least once, as long as they have time available. Don’t feel that you have to “qualify” for the appointment by offering a suitable reason. If you are dealing with an HMO or a community mental health clinic, this may, unfortunately, be compromised.

What is Psychotherapy? Psychotherapists are not just people who give you advice. Psychotherapy is not simple problem-solving. Therapy produces change in your life, but not primarily because of advice you get from the therapist.

In reality, therapy is a much, much richer experience. Psychotherapy is a specialized technique which is effective in helping you cope with a wide range of difficulties. It can produce lasting change in your life.

“Specialized techniques of caring have been developed which have the potential to produce change in human life, even when there are deep and persistent problems.

“Psychotherapy helps individuals explore and resolve more enduring and deeply felt sources of conflict and dissatisfaction in their lives, so that they will gain confidence and inner wholeness.

“Building an alliance of trust with the therapist leads to a reshaping of significant emotional experiences, and builds confidence and wholeness in new and enduring relationships. It provides the presence of ‘personhood,’ not just technique.” –Gary Hellman

The foundation of psychotherapy is the relationship you establish with the therapist. Research has shown that the technique the therapist uses is not as important as the relationship you build together. As therapy progresses and trust is established, you will actually use the relationship between you and your therapist as a workspace, to resolve problems in your life.

Because the relationship with the therapist is so essential to the process, it is important to find a therapist to whom you feel connected, with whom you feel safe. In psychotherapy, you intentionally make yourself deeply vulnerable to another human being. That is a very frightening assignment indeed. But you must realize it is this very process of self revealing and trust building that can be the means of your healing. At the end of this frightening and difficult path lies the inner wholeness you long for.

Obviously, if you are to make yourself so vulnerable, you must feel safe. I will show you how a good therapist builds that sense of trust and safety with you. Finding The Answer You Already Know (You just don’t know that you know!)

There is a part of your mind, beyond your conscious awareness, that knows if your therapist is helping you. Your unconscious controls your deep emotional satisfaction, or dissatisfaction. If your therapist does something unhelpful, your unconscious knows it, and will tell you. Messages from your unconscious mind are messages from you to yourself, and you can use them to evaluate the true success of your therapy.

Of course, learning to evaluate messages from your unconscious mind can be difficult at first, since your unconscious mind communicates with the outside world only indirectly. After all, it is unconscious. The unconscious mind speaks only through dreams, and through broad themes that play themselves out through other aspects of your life.

Furthermore, your unconscious and your conscious mind often disagree. Consciously, you might think one thing; but deep inside your unconscious, your true feeling is otherwise. Nevertheless, since your unconscious mind controls your deep-seated emotional satisfaction or dissatisfaction, the unconscious mind is often the theater of psychotherapy.

Did you notice the Christmas decorations going up on Halloween? Did a chill run down your spine? The holiday season seems to be getting longer and longer and shorter. Yes, shorter. Look at the expectations this season puts on you. Fifty five days are nowhere near enough to achieve Countess MarthaRachelNigelaPaula FoodNetwork perfection. I’m not sure I’m even up to Real Simple standards. So much to do! Are your cards out? Did you shop ’til you dropped on Black Friday? Did you make wonderful decorations out of recycled materials? Have you picked the absolutely perfect gift for everyone on your list? Do you have color-coordinated wrapping paper, tags, and ribbon? Can you tie a perfect bow? When will you be having your holiday party? What will you serve? What will you wear to everyone else’s event? Do you know what to tip your hairdresser? What’s the politically correct holiday greeting? So many questions, so little time! Holiday madness really set in when I visited a friend form Thanksgiving. She had decided that she didn’t feel up to cooking, so she ordered from her local supermarket. And then began to obsess. It wouldn’t taste good. There wouldn’t be enough. Turkey, cranberry sauce, whole wheat rolls, roasted butternut squash, mashed potatoes and a pumpkin pie clearly was not enough for five people. We added extra side dishes - home made cranberry sauce, candied chestnuts, fruit stuffing, baked onions, candied sweets, baked sweets, peas with fresh mushrooms and three more pies. Oh - and at the last minute she ran back for a turkey breast - just in case. Everything tasted great, and we all had a good time, but it really made me think about how easy it is to get caught up in holiday excess. So - how will you have a peaceful holiday season? Here are a few simple suggestions.

1. Just like Santa, make a list and check it twice. While you’re checking, do a little reality check. Are you buying gifts for too many people? Are you planning on spending an unrealistic amount on each? Have you burdened yourself with impossible-to-find items? (No, my cousin will probably NOT get that antique fruit bowl this year.)

2. Only accept invitations that make you happy. If that means none, go for it! An unbreakable prior engagement is always a valid excuse. No one needs to know that the engagement may be with your couch.

3. Wear comfortable clothes. Always. Don’t let tight shoes or a dubious neckline spoil your fun.

4. Shop in comfortable shoes. Carry your wallet someplace easy for you to reach but hard for anyone else to get at. Don’t burden yourself down with too many packages.

5. Buy on line. Presents, dinner, cards, reservations - all just a click away.

6. If you must send packages, remember that the Postal Service will now pick up packages at your home.

7. Don’t bake unless you would go into a serious depression if deprived of the experience. If you do bake, set limits. I will never again have more containers of cookies than can fit on a fully extended kitchen table.

8. This one is for next year. Pick up interesting gifts throughout the year. If you travel, this is a great way to have truly unique gifts. Just don’t forget where you put them. Last year I gave several lovely objects I’d bought in Sicily three years ago. I’d put them in a safe place. At least they eventually surfaced.

9. Simplicity is very classy. Repeat that twenty times, then start cutting back on your plans.

10. Gift cards are a wonderful thing. Want to give the perfect gift? Not only are gift cards perfect, but you can fit them in your carry-on luggage.

11. Travel light. Carry your pills, jewelry and one-ounce containers or the liquids you need. Wear something comfortable and a bit classy so that if your luggage is lost you’re reasonably prepared.

12. Block out time on your calendar to do absolutely nothing but take care of yourself - whether that means go to a movie, meditate, get a massage, or just take a nap. Pace yourself.

Are the holidays more stressful than enjoyable for you If you can’t wait for December to be over, here are some tips to make the holiday season tolerable - and maybe even enjoyable!

1. ADJUST YOUR EXPECTATIONS: Perfection is not the goal. Don’t worry so much about giving or receiving the perfect gift.

In the past couple of weeks I’ve been doing an informal survey with kids and adults, asking them, “What did you get for Christmas last year?” And you know what? Most people don’t remember.

The lesson to parents: don’t fret so much about getting your kids the latest and greatest toy. It’s not going to damage them emotionally, and they’re not going to end up hating you. In my 30+ years of doing therapy, NO ONE has EVER complained about what they did or didn’t get for Christmas.

2. SHOPPING: Think of the rush of activities as an adventure rather than an ordeal. If it’s raining or snowing when you must go shopping, all the better for your challenge. Attitude really does make a difference. Also, remind yourself that you are doing this voluntarily. No one is forcing you.

Hate shopping, but have to buy gifts? Here are some options:

• Buy gift certificates, magazine subscriptions. Buy online.
• Shop early and get it over with. Waiting till later prolongs your stress.
• Once you’re out shopping, decide you’re going to make the best of it. Grumbling about your ordeal only makes you focus more on the negative.
• While in the stores, do something kind for someone else, such as letting the person go first to the cashier. It will put you in the holiday spirit of giving.

3. TRAFFIC AND PARKING: Penn State football games have worse traffic and parking than any mall, but hardly anyone complains. Why? Because they have adjusted their expectations and are mentally prepared to allow more time - it’s just part of the activity itself. You can apply the same logic to shopping trips.4. SOCIAL GATHERINGS: Don’t dwell on yourself or on what people are thinking of you. Focus on others and find something interesting about them, even if it’s only a novel tie that they¹re wearing. You will be less self-conscious and better able to enjoy yourself.

5. DE-COMMERCIALIZE:

• Connect with someone you haven’t talked to in a long time. You’ve probably been meaning to do this for a long time. Now is a good time.
• Find opportunities to help others.
• Take time to play with or read to your kids. They will remember these times and tell their kids about them.
• Show your appreciation with a thank-you, a smile or a hug (or all three.) It takes just a moment, but it can make a person’s day. Even better, write a note of appreciation to someone who is important to you. Don’t be surprised if that person keeps the note for years to come.

The ways in which people experience stress are as unique as the individuals themselves; and the causes just as varied. Causes of stress are diverse and can result in a downward spiral of physical and emotional health. To battle and conquer stress, one must first understand their own individual causes of stress so as to handle situations that arise with clarity and preparedness.

For some, causes of stress stem from career and work conflict. Whether it be working several jobs to make ends meet or working long hours to meet deadlines. Worry combined with exhaustion can make for one of the most significant causes of stress. In the battle to ward off causes of stress such as these it is important to be an active participant in your time management. Taking on too many projects at once – to the point where it limits sleep and leaves little time for any other activities – can be detrimental in the long run.

Causes of stress that result from personal and social conflict can also be pervasive and dangerous for physical and emotional health. The break-up of a relationship, the loss of a loved one, or the dissolution of a family unit can be one of the most debilitating causes of stress.

Tackling your causes of stress can be a personal journey. You may identify those causes of stress that are most prevalent in your life and take measures to avoid them as much as possible or determine what will help you combat the effects. If you know that a certain periodic business meeting causes you stress then prepare yourself; get a lot of sleep the night before, exercise the morning of, or meditate just prior to the meeting.

As opposed to painful, short-lived periods of stress, long term causes of stress are easier to track. You can easily predict causes of stress if you are vigilant about your daily activities.

It may be helpful to keep a journal with you at all times; this will allow you to keep track of those situations in which you feel the most stress. Also, finding support to deal with your causes of stress can be enormously helpful; find someone to talk to whom you can trust or find a group of like-minded peers with whom you can share your experiences.

Can you actually eliminate stress and anxiety by sleeping? If you just take a nap does stress or anxiety just disappear? It would be nice to think so wouldn’t it?

Well don’t be alarmed, and don’t turn off your computer just yet. I will let you into a secret.

Stress and anxiety can be eliminated by sleeping. Not just any sleep, good sleep.

To understand this you need to know a few things about your sleep patterns. Firstly you need to know what happens to your brain when you sleep (how do you release your anxiety and stress) and secondly what happens to your body.

The Mind Changes

When you sleep you go through three brain wave patterns. When you are awake, you are in a Beta brain wave state. As soon as you close your eyes you enter Alpha, and then with time you go through Theta and eventually in a deep sleep you enter the Delta brain wave.

Each of these brain wave states has an anti stress and anxiety purpose…

The Alpha mind is where you dream. It is those colorful movies you play in your head. This is your mind working out all your problems of today or your past and trying to find solutions and answers to problems or question you have, it helps you release your anxiety and stress.

The more stress or anxiety you have, the longer it takes to go through Alpha and get to the Theta state.

In Theta your mind creates the still images, like photos. They tend to be in black and white. This is also your thought state.

I know very little about riding horses, but I admire people who do. They always look as though they are enjoying themselves. Usually, the horses don’t appear to mind either. From what I know, balance is important and some degree of flexibility is required. Perhaps that is why Robert Lewis Stevenson advised “Sit loosely in the saddle of life.” People ride different horses through life. Some ride plow horses, steady and strong; some race horses sleek and fast; some jumpers risking and daring; and some trail horses, trot, canter, and gallop. No matter what steed one rides, I am told, sitting loose in the saddle is sound advice. Too rigid in body, too firm in hand and you are prone to pain. Sitting tensely makes each bump bigger, each sway severe, and each turn treacherous. Sitting loosely allows the body to limit the impact and reduce the shocks that come with each step. It has to do with setting the course and letting the horse pretty much take care of the rest. How we sit in life’s saddle has much to do with the balance between controlling and allowing — holding on and letting go. Knowing what to control and when to hold on isn’t easy. As a matter of fact, we tend to get it backwards. Often, when it would be best to let go and allow things to happen, we tighten our grip and seek to take control. When we would be better off asserting some control, we let go and allow things to happen. Having some idea as to where the horse we are riding is heading makes sitting loosely in the saddle possible. When we know we are on course, we can allow the journey to happen. When we are off course, we best maneuver our way back. We all ride best when we remember that neither the pace nor the destination is as important as the journey itself.

Work related stress is responsible for 30.9 days of sickness absence in the UK each year, with stress, anxiety and depression being cited as common causes.

Most of us spend approximately 25% of our adult life working, and with stress in the work place being higher than ever, employers have a legal requirement to ensure they are putting measures in place to deal with work related stress.

Finding ways to relax both in the work place and in recreation time is an excellent way to manage work related stress.

What is Work Related Stress?

While everybody requires a minimum amount of stress in order to perform at optimal levels, when levels of stress continually escalate then it can become dangerous.

When faced with a stressful situation, the body prepares to ‘fight’ or ‘flight’. During this ‘stress response’, hormones, including adrenaline, are released in preparation to deal with the impending situation.

Once the perceived threat has passed then the body’s equilibrium is restored. However, for many people this is not the case.

For some, stress can be encompassed in every aspect of their daily life. It is this prolonged effect of the stress response that can cause the body’s immune system to lower and blood pressure to rise, leading to far more serious consequences.

The physical symptoms of work related stress can include:-
• excessive tiredness
• sleep disturbance
• digestive difficulties
• muscular tension
• dizziness
• headaches
• palpitations
• rapid heart beat
• nausea
• tremors
• aches and pains
• premature ejaculation/erectile dysfunction
• numbness
• dry mouth
• cold sweat
• clammy hands
• abdominal cramps
Added to this there are also emotional and behavioural effects including feelings of an inability to cope, loss of motivation and loss of commitment, low productivity, poor time management, increased absenteeism and unkempt appearance.

The effect of work related stress can cause people to turn to alcohol or drugs. They can become aggressive, irritable, be openly hostile and have angry outbursts.

What Causes Work Related Stress?

Many things can contribute to work related stress and often it is a combination of stressful factors, often going unnoticed, that accumulate over time.

In many case, work related stress is the result of a perceived inability to control a situation.

Stress can arise as a result of the pressure of work, the inability to manage workload, work relationships or organizational structure.

Other common causes include:

• excessive time pressures

• excessive or inflexible working hours

• too much or too little work or responsibility

• confusion about duties and responsibilities

• lack of job variety and interest

• inadequate training and possibilities for learning new skills

• poor work/life balance

• lack of support and lack of contact with colleagues

• organizational confusion, restructuring, job change

Dealing with Work Related Stress

While it is impossible to completely eradicate stress from the workplace, you as an employer can ensure that the negative impact of work related stress is kept to a minimum.

Learning to relax is very important to reducing stress at all levels and an excellent and easy way to achieve this is through massage.

Growing evidence shows that regular massage can reduce stress, relieve muscle tension, soothe the nerves, improve self-esteem, and evoke feelings of calmness and relaxation.

Many organizations recognize these benefits and regularly use the services of on site chair massage therapists allowing employees to have a relaxing break during the working day.

But why stop there, if a ten minute chair massage can have such a positive effect on work related stress, imagine the benefits that could be gained from a full body massage at least once a month.

Whether you as an employer bear the full cost of regular massage for your employees or ask employees to share the cost – It’s in everybody’s interest to eliminate work related stress.

Stress management techniques are meant to engage stress. They are meant to meet it half way, and not allow it to score over you. Remember, when you begin to understand and analyze the cause of your stress, half of it vanishes into thin air.

It is so because the stress in itself does not have any independent existence. It is the condition of the mind.

Howsoever powerful may the waves in the ocean be, the real nature of the waves is water! Similarly, howsoever intense may be your suffering, howsoever strong may be the agitation, the real nature of the mind is peace and bliss. When you commence your efforts to achieve it, it has no other option but to co-operate with you.

You have peace and happiness in your pocket. Why do you search for it elsewhere?

Some of the stress management techniques, from the secular point of view are:

1. Do the type of activity that will de-stress you. Walk in the garden on the green carpet, surrounded by bushes and trees.

2. Eat the type of food that you like the most; if you are an expert at it, prepare it yourself.

3. If possible, summon a friend, and take a long walk with him.

4. Identify the negativities in your mind, and try to remove them one-by-one. Do not try for total reformation, all of sudden. Slow and steady wins the race.

A person who is not appreciated at work is likely to develop an inferiority complex. It should not be so, because the man who does not appreciate his work, might be transferred soon, and the new incumbent in his place, might be an expert in human relations management. He may have great fascination for your style of work. When the cause for your stress has disappeared, where is the stress?

Do not compare yourself with anybody. There are always better off and worse off persons than you. When you know yourself, you forget all other issues that cause tribulations in your mind.

Always enjoy your job. Let your place of work be the happiest place for you. Always remember to work for the cause and never for a career as such. Do not try to outsmart others. Do not trample any one for your success. What you do is not important. How you do it is more important! Remember these stress management techniques.

Do not always think intensely, whatever others might feel about you. The best of the people are also criticized. Let the dogs bark, the caravan must march on!

In a relationship, most often than not, you can blame it on the guys to be inactive in the romance department. Thoughtfulness is the main ingredient to keep a relationship alive. There is really no exact formula on how to be a romantic person and being romantic would naturally come out if you really care and love the person you are with.

Rule number one is to add your own style and personal charm in romancing. If you are backlogged when it comes to romance, here are some simple ideas that you can use:

Personalize It

Giving a woman a jewelry box is an ordinary thing. But if she sees that the jewelry box you bought her is her favorite color, her kind of style and with her name on it, then she might give the jewelry box a second look and cherish it forever. The point is, no matter how ordinary a thing is, if you give it a real thought before buying, then the efforts of choosing a gift that you think would please her would count as being romantic.

Surprises

Do something out of the blue. If your usual night out would mean a dinner date at McDonald’s then a fine dining restaurant of her choice would absolutely surprise her. If you are not used to giving small token of appreciation like flowers or chocolates, then do so once in a while.

Quality Time

If you’re out of the budget and can’t afford to buy gifts or treat your partner to some fancy restaurants, then you must be thrilled that there is a great alternative to all these materials things. Yes, your quality time would be enough. Spending time lazing on the couch in front of some good TV would do the trick. Your sweet gestures and kind words like “I miss the smell of your hair” can even lead to some serious romancing.

The Magic of Touch

It is always a good sight when you see couples walk hand in hand. The sensuality of one’s touch can do wonders. Of course, be sincere and touch only a woman’s “safe” parts like her hair, chin and shoulders.

Being romantic should be a natural thing for someone who’s in love. If you are having a hard time thinking of romantic ways to please your partner just think of something that can make her smile. If you can do that, you would consequently find a way to make her heart jump.

It is unbelievable how many men there are who are awe-struck when it comes to approaching and talking to women. But what I find really appalling is the fact that so many of them are laboring under some unfounded illusions about women that prevent them from making any move whatsoever. Let’s examine some of these misconceptions.

Many men believe that, to be attractive, they have to conform to what women say and want. That’s one sure way to intimidate yourself. Women usually say they prefer men who are tall, dark, handsome, intelligent, rich, athletically built. The truth is, women don’t really know what they want until they see it. They only think this is what they want probably because this is what they’ve seen in their favorite movies or on TV. Most women will be charmed off their feet by men who are smart, charming, funny and good conversationalists.

Another wrong belief is that, to attract women, you have to like what they like and are interested in the things they enjoy. Some men actually pretend to like things that women like, hoping they can create some interest. Nothing could be further from the truth. Whether or not men share the same interests with women is secondary in the realm of attraction and romance. In fact, many women are attracted to men who are their virtual opposites in terms of personality and interests. This is important to point out because some men actually go out of their way to pretend to like the things that the woman they are attracted to likes, which is pathetic and unnecessary.

Even men who are fairly capable of attracting women still have trouble when it comes to sex, mainly because of the misguided belief that women will only sleep with them after they have gone through great and elaborate lengths of courting them. The truth is women, being human beings just like men, have the same needs and desires that we do. And that includes sex. They enjoy sex just like we do. A little experience in this area will convince them that this is true. Usually, women hold off from sleeping with men in order to avoid appearing easy or slutty. It is not because they don’t want to.

A final misconception among men is that if they aren’t any good at dealing with women, they aren’t going to get any better. This is not true. Men usually believe this after years of fear rejection. The fact is that they are unsuccessful with women because they have approached women on the basis of misconceptions. Sometimes they have failed because they lack confidence and women can smell this like sharks smelling blood. But once these men learn to overcome their basic misconceptions, they can approach women with confidence and their fortunes will surely improve.

Like Venice, Paris has always been a magnet for lovers and their affairs. As Woody Allen put it: “As long as you haven’t been kissed during any of those rainy Parisian afternoons, you haven’t been kissed at all.” Paris is where sleepy marriages are rekindled, the flames of passion ignited, vows renewed, and special someones met. But where will you get the most ardent thrill?

Finding your cafe terrace

I will start with an obvious spot: the sidewalk cafe terrace. There are thousands of such in Paris, and lovebirds are a common sight there. The cafe terrace is an enjoyable spot in more than one way. First, they offer a nice resting spot. Second, they make an ideal observatory. The streets become an aquarium, passer-bys are the fish, and you two become the observers. Third, sit down at a terrace where other couples are smooching, and you are part of a community setting a good example to the rest of the world. For all we need is love!

One of my favorite cafes is ‘Les Chevaux de Marly’, inside the Louvre Museum, facing the wing where the Da Vinci Code movie was filmed. Les Chevaux de Marly isn’t your typical sidewalk cafes; the place reeks history, and even when you sit outside you are well protected against the elements thanks to the stone parapet.

Now if you are a die-hard fan of the Latin Quarter, and the St Germain des Pres area, you will certainly want to sit at the terrace of ‘Les Deux Magots’ (A Pair of Old Bachelors). French philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre and his wife, writer Simone de Beauvoir, used to hole up there in the 50s. Rather large and well protected by a long awning, the terrace is a great spot to observe the foot traffic moving along the busy Boulevard St Germain. The atmosphere inside the cafe has kept some of its mid-20th century flavor. A tad on the expensive side, but history and a great view have a price, haven’t they?

More suggestions? Check out the following areas, you’ll find nice cafes: ‘Butte aux Cailles’ (in the 13th district), ‘Place de la Contrescarpe’ (in the 5th district), ‘Place des Abbesses’ (on the Montmartre Hill), and the perennial cafe facing the Pont St Louis, on Ile St Louis, near Quai de Bourbon.

Cool streets to roam

I always advise my friends who take the trip to Paris to discover the city on foot. Walking is the absolute best way to enjoy sightseeing in Paris. And ‘look up’ must be your operative word. Don’t just look at eye level: raise your eyes, and observe what’s above. The ‘upper floor’ scenery is worth it.

For romancing the love of your life, certain places have these very special qualities which will set them apart in your memories of togetherness. I will tell you about three for now, and there will be more to come.

Atop my list, ‘Place Furstemberg’. From the plaza of the St Germain Church, walk toward the Seine and Rue Bonaparte. Turn right into Rue de l’Abbaye. Follow the street to the first short alley on your left. Turn and you end up on ‘Place Furstemberg’. French painter Eugene Delacroix had his studio there, and this makes an interesting spot to visit during daytime. But ‘Place Furstemberg’ takes a whole other atmosphere at night. It is quiet, isolated, and sort of private. The nearby abbey lends it a historical feel. Sitting under the trees, the wooden benches welcome eternal lovers.

My second pick would be the steep flights of stairs leading up to the top of the Montmartre Hill, and the quaint streets below ‘Place du Tertre’. Here again, you would be well inspired to discover the hill during the day, and come back to it in the evening. Montmartre is one of the last areas in Paris to have retained their ‘olden days’ feel. Strolling around the hill at night gives you a whiff of what Paris was like in the late 1800s. Most definitely one of the very best spots to roam hand in hand, stealing a kiss here and there under the quiet glow of the street lights.

As a final destination for this short trip, let me take you to the park located at the tip of ‘Ile de la Cite’. This is the largest of the two islands, and the small park named ‘Square du Vert Galant’ takes its name from King Henri the 4th, a womanizer in his own right (’Galant’ alludes to his reputation as a smooth talker, and ‘Vert’ means the guy was ‘always ready to fire’). Walk to the ‘Pont Neuf’ bridge, go down the flight of stairs opening behind Henri’s statue, and you will wind up on the wharf. There, lined with century-old trees, the park offers a magnificent view of the river Seine and the Louvre Museum. I recommend discovering the spot together during daytime. It is also the port of call of a boat tour operator. Seize this opportunity to boat upstream and downstream. Don’t forget to bring an extra sweater, the temperature at water level is chillier.

More romantic places

I love a good romance, and I would love to contribute to yours in my own way. So I’ll write more about these special Parisian spots in further installments to this series. Meanwhile, you will find more resources on the website Paris-Eiffel-Tower-News. Till then, I wish your couple to grow even stronger.

Looking for romantic vacation spots to spend some quality and romantic time with your loved one? Treat yourself to a romantic vacation in Mexico. It has a number of places where you can recapture the romance of your relationship.

Whether you want to spend your time on the beach or explore historical sites, Mexico has them all. You can spend the evenings partying and taking in all the excitement of the nightlife while still keeping the romance going through the night!

I recommend you take a trip with your loved one to Los Cabos. Los Cabos’ beauty and splendor will overwhelm you. It has a number of activities that you can indulge in during the day and spend time being romantic throughout the night. The place has an incredible nightlife. Los Cabos is also great for a honeymoon. You will find restaurants and nightclubs all over the place. In addition, it has many places where you can play golf and go fishing.

Cancun offers you the serene splendor of the blue ocean, culture, excellent cuisine, and an exciting nightlife besides great enjoyment of water sports. It is one of the top tourist destinations in Mexico and covers the most beautiful marine landscapes in its outskirts. From Cancun you can go for excursions along the Mayan Riviera, where you will find temples, cities, monuments and sculptures of America’s ancient civilization. It is made up of 130 kilometers of beach and natural reserves.

Manzanillo is one of the most marvelous and blissful beach destinations you will find during your romantic vacation. It has fine sands and is rich in natural flora. Most hotels and other hospitality facilities in Manzanillo have first class service which further heighten your romantic get away!

Puerto Vallarta is a lover’s paradise. If you looking a quiet, peaceful and romantic vacation then this is the place for you. Its cobblestone streets and beautiful white buildings with red tiled roofs can easily identify Puerto Vallarta.

Other romantic destinations in Mexico include places that are not on the beach or coast. The town of Oaxaca offers historical attractions and architectural views that cannot be found elsewhere in the country. Black clay pottery from this region is famous. Oaxaca is well known for many other crafts. Nearby, natural attractions include a 2,000-year-old tree and a church built in 1521.

Mexico has much to offer to romantic vacationers. From beautiful beaches to regal cities to romantic places, the country has all that you ever looked forward to for your dream honeymoon or couples getaway. Each location has its own appeal and charm. Mexico has always been a lover’s paradise and winds of romance blows in the air everywhere. A romantic getaway to Mexico should be the next trip in your holiday calendar. Believe me, after you come back you will want to go there again and again.

Tip 1 Don’t try and get over your partner in the arms of another person.

When my wife left me I was fortunate to be going to a church and took the time to see the pastor about the separation. My pastor told me that I should not enter into any relationship for at least two years. He told me that this was for a number of reasons.

i. It was best for my wife that I spend a number of years single so as to give her an opportunity to come back to me. Out of respect he advised that even though she was already in a new relationship that it always took one partner to stay single to give an opportunity for the estranged partner to return. He told me to pray for her to come back and wait at least two years for her to come back.

ii. It was best for me to have a couple of years being single not only to get a handle on my emotions but to give me time to heal. He said it was essential for me to deal with the issues that were wrong in my marriage and to draw closer to God before I entered into another relationship.

iii. It was best for any future partner that I had dealt with my inner demons before I started to go out with them. So many marriages are formed from desperation and loneliness in both the people that join rather than happy single people joining. The pastor told me that my future partner deserved a healed and whole partner and that could only be achieved if I took the time to work on myself. He pointed out that if I rushed into another relationship that it was not love for my future partner but selfishness and a lacking in me that had propelled it.

I took my pastor’s advice and during the next few years grew a lot closer to Jesus Christ in a lot of study and personal experience with Him. Now it’s fourteen years later and I have only had one other significant relationship in that time and am very close to God. I have now decided to remain single so I can serve God more fully in the future as a single man. I am very happy in my decision and in a very good state emotionally in that area of my life.

Tip 2 Try and remember the good times in your marriage rather then the bad.

You can cut yourself to pieces running over and over the bad things in your marriage in your mind. Thinking constantly on these things will destroy you and pull you into a bad depression that will take, in many cases, medication to get out of.

You had some good times in your marriage. You went to some romantic places and had some wonderful times together in each others arms. There were restaurants and memorable embraces and kisses and times between the sheets. It is not dirty to think on these good things and it is not wrong to remember these things.

You will smell aftershaves on other men that remind you of your former partner if you are a woman. Don’t dismiss the memory of the man you loved when this happens in the future, take the time to think about the good times when this makes you think about your partner.

You will hear a song on the radio that reminds you of your partner. Don’t turn the radio off, listen to the song and let the tears flow if they must. Your partner will always be a part of you. Don’t think a court decision and a piece of paper that signifies your divorce will stop the songs from playing and the memories from catching you off guard.

Let me tell you the memories will come for years and years. It is better that you switch from thinking about the bad times in these instances and think about the positive things. This will help you to know and will help you through the years to come.

Tip 3 Try not to speak badly too often about your former partner.

Speaking bad about your former partner does not often hurt him. Often the only person it is hurting is you as you dredge it up again. There is a time where we have to get things off our chest, then there is a time where we have to put the hurts away once and for all and talk about the future and the possibilities of new love and romances.

Sure, your partner hurt you. My partner put me in a psychiatric ward with a nervous breakdown after two weeks without sleep. This was done with many phone calls and some very clever witchcraft. This was a very sad thing and now I suffer from both Bipolar and Schizophrenia which both give me a lot of grief, yet my wife was only doing what she felt she needed to do and I have forgiven her for this.

Many of you have been hurt more then me. It is so hard not to speak badly and confess the things that your partner did to you, but you need to learn to speak of the good things he or she did too, and you need to learn the lessons that these bad things taught you or else you will find the same thing happening with future partners.

Remember you married a person that you once loved. You shared some good times together. Your partner might not be as strong as you and the last thing that they need is for the whole world to know how bad that they are. You knew them first hand and you know a lot of their faults that no one else gets to see in day to day life. Try and keep that close to your chest as best you can.

My wife had a spirit that she used to take me down. Some people might call it a spirit guide. In the process of what she did to me I learned quite a lot about this spirit called the Jezabel spirit. Armed with this knowledge my wife had done me a great favour when I encountered other females in my future with this same spirit helping them to try and destroy me and render me ineffective in ministry. I look back fondly at my wife’s assault on me now and appreciate her for the wisdom she gave me about the ways and practices of the Jezabel spirit.

You see people, I can speak of a very traumatic experience in my life that resulted in me having two mental illnesses and put a positive spin on it and make this wife of my youth look like a hero.

We all like a movie with a positive ending. Try and think of the bad things that happened to you and learn the lessons that you need to learn from them. Then as you figure out the lesson you learned, learn then to speak about how your former partner did you a favour in teaching you that. Make your bad ending of your marriage a positive ending, so much so that in the future you can speak fondly of your former partner and the lessons his bad behavior taught you.

Tip 4 Learn to forgive by walking in your partner’s shoes.

Forgiveness in a very touchy issue. People might simply stop reading now that I have brought it up. But bear with me.

A month after I was separated I was talking with my wife’s best friend and the friend was trying to convince me that I did not want my wife back. She was having a hard time convincing me so she told me some truth that I didn’t know. She told me that on five occasions that she knew of, my wife had slept with other men while I was with her. I was shocked and asked questions and she went into a lot of detail about each of the encounters. She told me all of this because she loved me and respected me and honestly wanted me to move on with my life and not to try and pursue my wife, her best friend anymore.

I got off the phone and wept. How could my wife do that?

Out of respect for my wife’s best friend who had told me, I never brought the subject up with my wife to betray her confidence in me, but I was hurt deeply inside as I knew some of the times my wife played around she had came home and made love to me also. The thought of that disgusted me and I felt like I had been really disrespected.

The only way I was able to forgive that was to come into knowledge of how my wife was feeling when she was doing it. It was obvious to me that I was simply not good enough for my wife. Somehow my wife needed constant affirmation that she was beautiful and attractive and worthy of love. She found this in the arms of other men who were only too happy to take her to bed. And who could blame these guys? My wife had rich olive skin, dark brown eyes and a nice body that most men would find attractive. She was a fun sort of girl and enjoyed herself in bed, a fine kisser and very seductive when she wanted to be.

I was heartbroken but how could I blame the guys? Most of them weren’t even told that she was married and simply thought they were scoring a night with a twenty year old girl who was keen to be with them.

And how could I blame Sharryn, my wife? If I was not enough for her, if I didn’t make her feel fulfilled as a women, a wife and a mother, how could I blame her for going other places to find excitement? And that’s the sad truth about many affairs that I had to come to grips with and perhaps you might have to come to grips with. Sometimes we simply are not good enough to keep our partners in only our bed.

Of course it wasn’t all my fault. I was doing my best as a husband but I simply was not living up to what she had married. Sharryn had a problem and it is that problem that I focused on in order to find the place in my heart so that I could forgive her. I had to see it in her shoes. I found out about her in books about sexual abuse victims of which my wife was one.

So take the time to try and understand why your partner did that bad things in your marriage. You need to understand why they did what they did so that you can forgive them. And you need to forgive them or else you will walk around really bitter and this will hurt you for many years to come.

Even whilst in agony on the cross, Jesus said, “Father forgive them for they know not what they are doing.”

What a man hey?

Jesus was totally innocent. He was a man of love. And just like us he was hurt, beaten and mistreated. And yet in the midst of his agony and just before he died he asked God to forgive all the people who had put him on the cross and all the people that were laughing at him at the foot of the cross.

He forgave you for all your wrong doings on that day. That is the essence of the Christian faith and you can write to me for more information about that if you like.

So if Jesus forgave you on that cross, can’t you forgive your former partner?

Take the time and get to the bottom of why your partner did what they did. This will not only help you in your life in the future, but it will also help you become a better partner in the future.

Tip 5 Don’t fight with your partner though the divorce.

People die and everyone goes to a funeral and they say all these good things about the person and there are many tears that abound. There are many regrets when some people die suddenly as many loved ones didn’t get the chance to say things to the departed that they wanted to say.

Yet a marriage dies and so many people fight like two dogs in an illegal dog fight. The friends take sides and the fight gets really ugly. A fortune is spent in law courts and people say such terrible things about their partners in official documents.

My wife lied 19 times in her affidavit for the custody of my child. Some of the things that she said about me were very hurtful and I did not like judges, lawyers and people reading that affidavit with all those lies about me.

Yet this is the case many times in divorce courts. Many hurtful things are said on paper and are on record before strangers. It’s disgusting and even more disgusting if the parties are supposed to be born again Christians.

God spoke quite clearly in the prophet Malachi when He said, “I hate divorce.”

A better way is not to fight. You can only have a fight when both people are fighting. If one person refuses to fight then the other person does not get as much satisfaction. I prepared and affidavit that addressed all of the 19 lies and showed how they were not true and then a judge in my taxi cab as a customer told me that my wife would be possibly put in prison if that affidavit was presented in court.

I was struggling whether I should clear my name from the lies of my wife in my affidavit or change it and just accept the lies going down on record in the court when I had another passenger jump in my taxi. He spent 45 minutes asking me about all my life and giving me a few scripture verses that answered each situation that I talked about. He had me in tears and by the time he left my taxi I was really happy and I had all the answers I needed, I was not going to fight.

A minute after he left my cab and went into the airport I followed him to thank him and I looked everywhere in that airport. And believe me I searched everywhere and he had disappeared. To this day I know he was an angel sent to me with a message. I have since spoken to Jesus and he has told my in my spirit that indeed it was angel.

And the angel’s message?

Don’t fight with your partner!

Tip 6 Always hold a special place in your heart for your former partner.

Your prayer life, your Christian life and even if you are not a Christian, your life will be a whole lot better if you continue to keep good thoughts about your former partner, and keep a special place in your heart for them.

My wife is my hero, she was my first love, she made me very happy and she gave me a wonderful son that I am very proud of. My Sharryn was a champion and gave me many happy days and nights. Losing her sent me into a path toward God that has just got better and better over the years.

She is always in my prayers and I always pray for her marriage. Though she got dirty and stopped me seeing my son seven years ago, I still know she had her marriage and my son’s interests in mind when she made the decision. If a person is hurting and has had a bad upbringing and been hurt by her step father and her mother you have to cut them a bit of slack. I address my reasons why I stopped seeing my son in another article.

It’s best, if you have children to keep a little love in your heart for your former partner. Love always makes things easier. So you can’t bear to live with your partner anymore, that’s fine, but love them from a distance. Feel sorry for them if you must, but keep the love for them burning in a special hidden place in your heart. Pray for them and treat them as nice as you can. Perhaps your love for them will be like after sales service.

We all love a company to treat us nice after we have already bought their product. That sort of company has us going back to them time and time again. The way you treat your former partner through the divorce and years to come can have a great effect on them and even give them the courage to change.

In closing, let me pray for you.

Father in heaven,

I pray that this article has made sense to the reader. I pray that they realize that I did not write this for profit or for me to make any money of me to benefit in any way. Father I pray that they might read this and re-read this and take on board my 6 tips and apply them to their life. Father I ask that you tend to their hearts and that you give them good opportunities to purge their pain and talk about their hurt in constructive ways over the coming years. I ask that you bring healing to their lives, bring good friendships and much love into their life. I pray you lead them to the right books, the right films and the right sermons or talks that they need to hear. Let them heal and let them laugh and have them be able to speak about the hurt in the future and bring encouragement to other people’s lives.

If they do not know you as their God, I pray that you might speak into their life more and more though people they know already and people they might know in the future. I pray that you take them by the hand and bring forth a good destiny for all people that read this prayer.

When you are walking in the mountains, high up there in Nepal, there is always a problem to be faced. Things are always in a dance with each other. The clouds might be low but there is warmth. The rain is coming down but there is a cozy fire somewhere. The sun might burn but the visibility is amazing. The wind can be freezing yet, it blows away the cloud and leaves photographs inspired. You may be tired, but the altitude you gained may bring you closer to your self. Your feet and knees are sore, but you meet a Sherpa and hear something that changed your life. You may get stomock upset but because you take a break, you meet monks on the way and stop and talk.

Life is how you see it. That person who is trying to create patterns of pleasure will be wanting the clouds to go away, the soreness to subside, the cold to become warm, the warm to become cold. They will be wanting the belly to clear up and the wind to stop. The one who is with love will praise the sunshine, the clarity, and the gift that always exists in the shadow of the darkness. You choose this approach here in the mountains. Because wishing the obstacles removed tires you, weakens your resolve. You know, that a mind that is wishing things to be other than they are, is the mind that never left home.

It is most evident when I am staying in a village. There on the hillside, sits a monastery. An old, old monastery. It becons but the thought of trekking up to it spoils the attraction. Here I am in a warm lodge and there it is way up there. I can see the goal, the clearer I see the goal, the worse it is. The next day, it is time to move to the next lodge, It is 6 hours away, I pack my gear, eat breakfast and trek on. I dare not think of how far or how high I must journey, it would turn me around. Each step becomes a joy, an obstacle here and there, problems to solve, one cannot keep looking up to the top, and thinking, “I wish it would come near” it won’t, and doesn’t.

Yet, on this day, I climb 10 times the distance of that monastery. I am willing to do so because every step is a moment in itself, I am forbidden that luxury of sitting in the lodge, looking up at the end result and wishing it to be near. That luxury, wanting to remove obstacles is what keeps us safe and warm and dead in our spirit. We look, we think of the hardship and then, with resolve find good reason not to do. We sit, and think of what it might have been like to stroll up to that monastery and find good reason not to have done it.

Problems of this nature face us every day in our life. We must understand our patterns and ways of dealing with those issues lest we become like the trekker, who sits in the warm lodge, sees the difficulty of the achievement and elects, rationalizes the negation of it. This is the death of the spirit and the life of the average person.

There are two typical habits that you will need to overcome in order to be authentic in dealing with lifes problems.

The first is the the temptation to suppress them. The second is the temptation to run away from them

Both provide an escape from problems. But anything that prevents the understanding of a problem at its core, means that the problem will go on tomorrow. Any problem that goes on day after day, kills the spirit.

To solve a problem we simply try to understand it at its core. Once we understand something we have learned from it. And we must make sure that we achieve that understanding on the day it occurs, otherwise, this problem from yesterday, adds to this problem from today to create 2 problems and now a third, which is the accumulating tiredness one feels when problems accumulate.

If we carry problems forward, we kill the spirit. We become insensitive to others and hypersensitive to ourselves. This is a fearful and ugly state of mind. The whole spirit of the person becomes defensive and mature. their innocence is dead and they loose the joy and lightenss of being. The ugly man. The ugly woman. they are beautiful souls whose problems have accumulated. Accumulated for years, tens of years, some think lifetimes. It is not important what good things you carry forward, they are your automatic skill, but it is important what problems you carry forward because these are the burdens that hold your heart heavy when it should be light.

False solutions are very common. People are most second hand people. They repeat, and repeat. They are second hand because their self is on holiday and some other person has become their self. A guru, a preacher, a Lama. No, we can be authentic only by experience. If you follow a guru your solutions are not authentic. They are second hand. Only you can know the solution.

You can recite the Gita backward, you can learn the sanscrit and speak the sutra, but you are still only a parrot. repeating some words that got written. Where are you in this? you believe one thing but not another. Therefore you are mind. No heart, just a mind, accepting something, rejecting something. No true you can be there in listening to the guru. One psychic is just as illusioned as the next. and when they earn their income from your followership, you are guaranteed to be deluded, they cannot tell the truth, it is unattractive to you, and you would reject them. Truth always disappoints.

You might quote someone famous in your speech, or even tell some story you heard from an ancient book, but you are not solving problems you are creating them. Instead of the emptiness of truth, you are finding the fullness of lies. Self deception is always possible if pleasure is your goal.

The pleasure seeker is in trouble from the start because what they seek is not understanding, they seek confirmation. There are those who have found a dead end after 30 years of searching for self actiaulization because the whole time they were seeking to escape from someone or something, they were seeking pleasure and now they have found a dead end, a raod blokc, there is no more pleasure at the end of their 30 years of searching than there was 30 years ago. Wasted, although there we moments of hope, moments of high, the lows were there too. Nature guaranteed it.

Love is the answer to the problem. Love cannot be a memory, no that is a second hand person, thing this or that is what love can be. Yes, love is the answer to evey problem. but what is love? Nature is love because she does not defy the laws that created her, she does not seek pleasure or anything, just obedience to the powers that manifest the universe. So, mechanically we can say we know what love is, it is a feeling that is created when the mind is seeing things in a certain way. In other words love is there, nature assures us, the mind can block it, the mind can unblock it. If the mind thinks in a certain way it becomes the seeker of love, if it thinks in a certain way it becomes the gateway through which the love we have access to, comes out.

So the mind that seeks the balance is no longer seeking the pleasure. The pleasure is the imbalance and the displeasure is the balance. Stolen pleasure, could you bare it? That is the mind that solves and understands problems. because the only problem you ever experience is the loss of love. All problems, all stress, comes from the mind that is blocking love. Why? Because that mind belongs to the lonely person the lonely person who can’t stand their own company, seeks to identify itself in pleasure. Can you see this? The search for pleasure is the escape. The escape from what? the escape from loneliness, from the problems of being a human being in a body.

Denail – the suppression of problems creates pleasure, but never happiness. Running away to the four substitutes creates pleasure, but never happiness. Happiness comes from love. None of those things denial or running away create love..

A tree lives with problems and solves them by being a tree. Humans live with problems but solves them by becoming someone else. Humans say “ I will become that person, or this life or that religion” Humans complicate it, the distort being themselves. And each time they add another expectation they add a disturbance.

Seeking pleasure adds more disturbances. Ambition, competition, greed, status, envy, domination, attachment and power, they cause the disturbance in the process of seeking pleasures. What the pleasure seeker is unaware of is that nature guarantees two sides, balance. Each pleasure has a pain. Denial and running away, accentuates the increased pleasure of being away from a problem and therefore an increased pain in emptiness and lack of love. Synthetic love, pleasure seeking love is a sad end for a life.

Relationships are the greatest escape from loneliness and pain. To enter a relationship based on pleasure is guaranteed to cause failure. Because that person who seeks pleasure can not be satisfied by it. They are unhappy, lonely so they seek. the seeker is always a seeker, so they can have no peace. And in peace there is love. Contentment is a precondition to love. So the spiritual seeker, the religious god hunter, the alcoholic or the sexual predator, they are all the same, they cannot love. They cannot love. They can mimick what they know love could, should, would be if they act out a certain behavior or do a certain trick, but they cannot love because love is the emptiness of existence.

To love you must be comfortable with dissapointment, with loneliness. Yes, these are not the pleasures we seek, they are the pains we run away from, the problems we try to deny or escape. But that is the contradiction of humanity. We fill up the space that love can exist in with activity, with Gods and goddesses, with Ipods, televisions, telephones, ex husbands, silly friends and needy families. We fill the space of love with food and drugs and activity and romance and where are we left? We are left fearing problems that might reveal our comoflage. If the lifetyle that hides our fears is disturbed we are revealed. And this is the meaning of the word relationship.

Disturbance. Yes, your relationship is automatically going to disturb your mind. It is going to reveal, not create problems. And those problems, if they accumulate, will deaden the spirit. If we do not understand relationship we cannot have love in it. It will disturb us and then we can either deny or run away. But we cannot love anymore. When we do not solve the problems of the last relationships through understanding then we carry these into the future and there will be disturbance accumulating. We are deadened, except for sex and some windows of intimacy.

All love comes in emptiness. It is easy to love a tree or a mountain scene. We didn’t expect it. But if we see a magnificent tree and then go to the next pleace and say “oh, this tree is not as good as the last tree, or this tree is better than the last tree, we cannot know love anymore, because we are now pleasure seeking. Innocence is lost. So, if there is no understanding of relationship, we are unable to solve the problems of it.

The world has become a smaller place with the advent of the internet. With the telephone, one could only talk to a person far away; however, with video communication, one can both see and talk to a loved one living far away. Moreover, with the various video communication media available like video email and video chat, there is a lower chance of any misunderstandings occurring here than when one communicates through the telephone.

Nowadays you can not only communicate with your loved ones, but those singles out there can also make and get to know partners through the numerous dating websites found on the internet. This form of socializing is one of the best ways a person too busy with their career to find a partner, possibly a life partner! When looking for a partner on the internet, you usually meet the person with similar interests as all your basic information has to be given to the dating service. This is the greatest advantage of internet dating; instead of getting hooked on someone because of love at first sight, with internet dating, you get to learn about the temperaments and nature of the person before actually meeting. With internet dating, there is no need of waiting for one to make the first move. There is no nervousness to hide and you can seem cool and collected to your partner, no matter how nervous you may actually be! However it is very important that you provide honest information about yourself to the online dating site so that you will get the perfect match for you. Inaccurate information only leads to an inaccurate match!

Once you find your partner through the internet, it is important for you to meet to get to see each other. There have been occasions where on meeting; you find that this is not the person I had envisioned through our online dating! Now that you have met, and you are happy with each other, you have to develop a perfect love relationship to confirm a long time relationship. Loving someone when dating is rather easy; however to become a serious couple, you have to have a serious love relationship that may prove to be an uphill task.

Make sure you are compatible with the person you date; having the same taste of food and pets does not promise a long-term love relationship. There is more to life than this! You have to have the capacity of forgiving each other for certain mistakes while also have your say on some manners you are not happy with. You have to basically ask the right questions at the right time to get to know each other better.

It is very important that you remain honest, understanding and committed to your partner during the span of your relationship. Remember, both of you have the same rights of giving and accepting opinions about your relationship!

You could perhaps add some romance to your lives by springing some nice surprises on each other, when life gets dull. You could shower some gifts on your partner, go for a romantic, candlelit evening diner or even send flowers to brighten your partner’s day! So with some romance in the air, a good understanding of each other’s nature and temperament will help in creating a long, lifetime love relationship for both of you!

It’s like a jungle sometimes! The Sugar Hill Gang could have been talking about online dating when they penned their greatest hit. Of course, back in the early 1980s the idea of finding a partner via the Internet would have been regarded in the same light as taking a day trip to the moon; twenty plus years on and strolling around Copernicus for the afternoon is still the stuff of fantasy, but finding the perfect match on the Internet is something that more and more of us are doing.

Out there in the online jungle are a great many different creatures, all of whom make their respective ways down to the watering hole with their own aims in mind. Some come merely to socialise, to chew the fat with the other denizens of this fertile environment, rub shoulders with the great and the tiny, hear the latest gossip on the bush telegraph and keep abreast of recent goings on; others come to prowl, surveying the ranks of assorted beasts, picking the choicest morsels to feast their eyes upon (or more)! Still more come in hope of something less tangible, they come seeking companionship from creatures like themselves; a life partner to raise a brood with or share a nest.

So, what kind of dating creature are you? We identified a few of the inhabitants of the dating jungle below:

With their long legs and lurid pink plumage; the flamingos come down to the watering hole to preen, flirt and catch tiny krill. The slightest noise or sudden move and they take to the air, startled. Flamingos in the world of online singles are equally skittish; they upload pictures of themselves so that they can be admired, preening in the water, thriving on compliments they snap up like so much krill. These flamingos will take to the wing at the slightest mention of meeting, or taking things to a more serious level.

Howler monkeys are the jungle’s gossips; rampantly sociable, they come to the water to meet and chatter, to groom and to reinforce their social bonds. Howler monkey dating site users are often looking for friends to chat and gossip with. They tend to use the sites very regularly and sometimes for hours on end, chatting to new friends and adding to their favourites lists. This can be a great way to use dating sites for people who have just moved to a new town or city, or who find it difficult to meet people because of work constraints.

And then the lion – the self-styled King of the Jungle may have a mighty roar but is actually quite a timid creature, shying away from large groups of prey, preferring to circle silently and pick the perfect target. These types of daters will often view your profile six or seven times before sending you a hello; they like to make sure of what they’re getting as lions don’t like to waste energy. Of course when they do make their choice this skilled hunter’s charms can often prove hard to resist!

POWER AND RELATIONSHIPS

One of my favorite books is Gerry Spence’s book “How To Argue And Win Every Time” (I’ve listened to the audio tape version many, many times as well, and recommend it highly). In that book, he talks about the concept of personal power, and how most people give away their power to others.

Here’s one way I generalize male/female relationships.

Variables: 1 Power 2 No Power 3 You 4 Her

Possible Combinations:

1. You have no power, she has no power

This is the attitude characterized by guys saying “You probably won’t like me, and there’s nothing that either of us can do about it.” When people have very low self esteem, combined with learned helplessness they often use these kinds of words. This is the situation when a guy thinks for whatever reason that he’s not valuable as a person, and that no woman COULD want him.

2. You have no power, she has the power

Characterized by “I don’t know what to do. I really like this girl, but I don’t think she likes me. I want her to like me really bad. I think about it all the time. I have to figure out how to get her attention and impress her.” These are the kinds of thoughts of most guys who I come into contact with.

3. You have power, she has power

Characterized by “I like myself and believe that I’m a great choice for her, and I think that she’s a desirable woman. I’m going to give her the opportunity to take advantage of being with me. If she accepts, great… if she chooses not to, that’s fine because I can always find another woman.” This is probably the healthiest mindset, but there are a few problems here. Namely, that most women AND men have a whole truckload of personal issues, neurosis, and inner-children-needing-a¬hug, so it doesn’t come down this way often.

You have power, she has no power

Characterized by “I am the best thing that every happened to you. I take what I want, and you’ll enjoy it. If I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you. If you are too stupid to see the opportunity that is in front of you (me) then you’re an idiot, and nothing can be done to help you… later.” Clifford and I were talking on the telephone a few days ago about the new Motley Crue book. You may have read my newsletter a few weeks ago about that book and what those guys are like. Clifford and I agree that these guys act like complete animals, and yet they bang ALL of the world’s hottest chicks… from groupies to super-models. These guys are the undisputed champs of moral bankruptcy in my book. But they sure get laid a lot. lol… they also spend a lot of time in jail and rehab, so think twice about modeling them! Even though these guys aren’t the best models for children, I think that some useful lessons can be learned from them. More later.

Online dating can lead to off-line friendship, love and even marriage. Exchanging written correspondence, is a great way to build loving, trusting relationships.

However, you could expose yourself to the risk of physical harm if you proceed without caution. You wouldn’t give a stranger on the street your name, address and telephone number.. don’t do it online! Protect yourself with the following common sense guidelines, and enjoy the start of what might become a very beautiful friendship.

Remain Anonymous - Don’t give anyone online your real email address, last name, phone number, address or place of work during your early correspondence. Stop communicating with anyone who tries to pressure you into giving this information. Check with your ISP server and make sure that your Online Profile does not give out more personal information than you are comfortable with.

Use email redirection services - Listed below are free email providers and forwarding services. Use these services to keep your main email address anonymous.HotMail,Google,Yahoo

Don’t make the mistake when you started using online personal ads! Many of us use multiple signature lines for our personal and business email correspondence which include our phone numbers and addresses. Don’t sent ’strangers’ personal information by including ‘personal’ signature line in email to them. Please Don’t take that chance.

Nicknames - Call yourself ‘Pretty Woman’ Protect yourself against unwanted advances and use a gender-neutral nickname in chat rooms, discussion groups and on message boards. As you can see, common sense is the key to staying safe during your online search for love.

Meeting offline for the first time - Don’t allow yourself to be pressured into meeting anyone. If they threaten to terminate online correspondence if you don’t meet them within a certain time frame, end your online connection. Nice people don’t make threats or put pressure on people they care about.

When you do decide to meet someone whose company you enjoy online, meet in a public place and bring your friends. Your online friend will understand and accommodate your wishes if they are honest about their intentions towards you. If during the date, you decide to go somewhere else, use your own car.

Don’t agree to hiking dates or meetings in remote areas until you know someone very well. Plan a short initial meeting. If, on meeting, you know you won’t be seeing this person again, sharing coffee and a little polite chat won’t be as painful as spending a long day together.

Keep the date light-hearted and fun and leave as originally scheduled. Answer honestly if asked whether you’d like to get together again. Tell your friends and family where you are going, with whom, and arrange to check in with them at a specified time during the date and again when you arrive home.

If you travel to meet your online love, make your own hotel and car reservations and don’t give out the name of your hotel. Drive yourself to the hotel,or take a taxi. Follow all of the recommendations above about meeting someone for the first time. Provide your family or friends with necessary contact information.

Getting out of Trouble - If you start feeling unsure or uncomfortable about your date, politely extricate yourself from the situation. Excuse yourself and leave by the back door if necessary. Do not hesitate to ask for help from persons nearby, call your family, friends or the police if you feel the situation warrants. Trust your judgement and don’t be afraid of potential embarrassment. Better to be embarrassed than physically hurt.

If you follow all of the previous recommendations, you will feel safe and enjoy your online dating experience to the fullest! Be happy, find love!

Would you buy a car, sight unseen? How about a diamond ring? I don’t know about you, but I want to see what I am buying.

Unbelievably, many people are dating online and not posting photos of themselves. What a waste of time. I just read a statistic that said 95% of people on dating sites only search for other members who have posted a picture of themselves.

What’s the point of spending money to join, spending time to write a profile, spending time answering a questionairre, only to eliminate yourself from 95% of those searching for you?

I wonder if people lack confidence in themselves or feel unattractive. Look, you are who you are. Period. Put your best out there and you will find somebody.

Many people that do upload photos are making mistakes. Here are common mistakes I’ve seen in photos. I’m sure you can add to this list.

1. Blurry.

2. Old picture.

3. Group shots.

4. Out of focus.

5. Kids in the shot.

6. People drinking or toasting.

7. Sexually suggestive photos.

8. People cut off.

9. Photos with a mysterious arm around the subject (but they aren’t in view).

10. Too far away.

11. Way too close, like the camera is hitting them in the head.

12. Not smiling.

13. Washed out, so person looks white as a ghost.

14. Photos that include guys (if you are female) or vice versa.

15. Photos showing a “bad attitude.”

16. The ‘deer in the headlights’ photo.

17. Wearing unattractive or non-flattering clothing.

18. Ultra formal pictures.

OK, I could go on, but you get the point.

Wait, bad haircuts. Couldn’t resist throwing in one more for you.

Now, here are some tips for great photos.

First, get your picture done by a professional. This is your life and love life we are talking about. Take it seriously and do it right.

Second, smile. Simple. You look better and will attract more people to you.

Third, use a current photo, or nothing more than one year old. Can’t tell you how often I was expecting a date for coffee and they were ten years older in real life than their picture showed.

Fourth, post multiple photos if the site allows. One shot is good, two shots better, three shots great.

Fifth, no group photos. Look, if I’m browsing, I’m not looking to date you and your friends or family (that’s a different issue). I’m just looking at you.

Sixth, make yourself look like a fun, inviting person. I can’t say what to do here specifically, but I know it when I see it. People are browsing, and probably browsing fast. Your picture registers in their brain for a split second. It must register a message that says something like: “wait…slow down…this person looks interesting.” If your picture doesn’t communicate that, you are done for.

So, avoid the mistakes and follow the tips. Easy as “1-2-3 cheese.” (Boy, that was totally cheesy, but I couldn’t resist).

To Your Dating Success,

Despite all the breakthroughs of science and modern medicine the ability to pinpoint the beginning and end of a pregnancy is still not well understood. Most people, for example, are shocked to find out that a human pregnancy is not actually 40 weeks in duration. Here are some common terms and abbreviations that you may run into during pregnancy along with their definitions.

Gestation: From Latin, this refers to the period of development in the uterus from conception until birth.

Gestational Age (GA): The duration of pregnancy starting from the first day of the last menstrual period (LMP). GA pregnancy dating is based on the assumption that the average pregnancy is 40 weeks from the first day of the last menstrual period. GA pregnancy dating is widely used, but is frequently inaccurate for the simple reason that a woman is not pregnant on the LMP. Fetal age pregnancy dating is much more accurate.

Fetal Age (FA): The fetal age is the duration of a pregnancy starting from the time of conception. It is much more accurate to calculate the date of delivery if the estimated time of conception (ETC) is known. FA pregnancy dating assumes that a pregnancy will be approximately 38 weeks from the time of conception, until the time of birth.

Last Menstrual Period (LMP): The first day of the last menstrual period.

Estimated Time of Conception (ETC): The date by which conception is thought to have occurred.

Estimated Time of Arrival (ETA): The date on which it is expected that the baby is due to be born. The term ETA is actually identical to the “estimated date of confinement” (below), but is typically used when pregnancy dating proceeds from a fairly well known estimation of the time of conception (ETC).

Formula: ETA = ETC – 7 days + 9 months

Estimated Date of Confinement (EDC): The EDC is the date on which it is expected that the baby is due to be born. The term EDC is actually identical to the “estimated time of conception” (ETC). The EDC is the most common term used to indicate the “due date” for a pregnancy. It is typically used when the date of the last menstrual period (LMP) is known, but the estimated time of conception (ETC) is not known.

Formula: EDC = LMP + 7 days + 9 months (Naegele’s Rule)

Hopefully, this short article has clarified the correct use of terminology related to pregnancy dating. Unfortunately, our understanding of the the events of the menstrual cycle and pregnancy will probably continue to be influenced by some very unscientific thinking. Addressing the mythology of the 28 day menstrual cycle and the 40 week pregnancy, Dr. Bruno Walter, back in 1977 most excellently noted that:

“From archaic experience, women know that their ‘monthlies’ recur in approximately four-weekly intervals. Philosophers and physician, however, translated ‘four-weeks’ into 28 days. By this legitimate trick, woman’s reproductive physiology got assorted with the cabala of numbers, 4 times 7 for the menstrual cycle and 10 times 28 for the duration of the pregnancy. To the physician, the 28-day menstrual cycle, as well as the 280 days’ duration of pregnancy became the static, orthodox diagnostic criteria of woman’s health and physical normalcy. For the philosopher, the 28 days was the bridge to the mythology of the moon. The comparison of the observed occurrence of high tides and the resolution of woman’s plethora in menstruation with the phases of the moon, produced the first rational theory of the mystic process of periodic vaginal bleeding in women” (Walter, 1977, p. 1).

…and so it has been ever since.

Internet online dating takes patience and practice. Just because you are seated at your own computer doesn’t mean that people will come to chat with you for no reason. Even in this medium of Internet dating, you must take the initiative and actively seek to contact those you like.

But even if you contact some people or they contact you, there are some incredibly stupid things guys are doing on Internet dating and singles sites ad than complain that all women are ignoring them.

Women are searching men which know to make them feel good and have great time with. They are looking for someone intelligent, someone who listens, a man with a good sense of humor, a well-rounded person with a positive attitude.

If you want to get some responses and even get to know closely women by online dating you have to stop doing the mistakes that are chasing all the women away. So:

1. Women browse profiles to find their match just like you do. Post a good recent picture of yourself, a nice picture that shows your sense of humor or style. Do not send women pictures of your “privates”. They will ask if they want to see that.

2. Make sure your profile contains proper spelling and grammar. Women like an intelligent person. Do not ruin your chances with simple mistakes in your profile. Take some time to get it right guys and you will get a response.

3. Women usually like men with some class, so don’t choose a nickname that has a sexual innuendo (unless you are on an adult dating site). You don’t want to give the impression that you’re just searching for a one night stand.

4. Don’t use negative words in your profile. Women are much more likely to be attracted to a positive person.

5. Send individual emails and put some thought into contacting women on these dating sites. Women get 100 emails a day from all sorts of guys. If you copy and paste 10 exactly same emails and send them off you just go over-looked.

6. Show women that you are a caring person. Get to know the woman. Ask questions to learn about whom she is, what she does, etc. Don’t talk only about yourself.

7. Do not pretend that you are willing to fly half way round the world to meet someone you have been chatting to when using online dating sites if you are not really serious. It’s not fair on anyone including you. It’s easy to get carried away with a lovely person seven thousand miles away, but are you really going to get out of that chair and go and meet them? If you are, you have our utmost support and respect. If you are really only looking for someone in your state or close to home then stick with that and make it clear.

8. If you are married don’t lie, tell from the very beginning. Women can feel this and it gets you nowhere. If you are sincere maybe you find someone who is willing to spend some good time with you.

9. If a woman tells you that she is not interested in you do not keep sending her messages. You are losing your time and she can complain that you are harassing her. Be patient, it takes time to find someone special when using online dating sites and dating services, like anywhere else for that matter.

Online adult dating sites are quickly becoming a large meeting spot for couples and singles from all over the globe and from all walks of life. Due to fast paced society coupled with growing number of Internet users, online adult dating offers an inexpensive logical and convenient way for people desiring to interact, chat or meet.
Growing numbers of adult sites are confusing online adult friend finders. One should search an adult site according to his or her personality, his category and what kind of personal that person would like to meet. Adult dating sites provides you unlimited match making scenarios for friendship, love, dating, romance and soul mates.
Basically all group and category of people browse adult dating sites but single people are the group that use online dating services the most. For some people it’s a little tough reaching out to other people physically; online dating services offer them favorable chance to meet right person just with the help of online correspondence. Being a regular adult dating site surfer, I know one of them which I can recommend you i.e. http://www.adultxdating.com.au
One of the most crucial phases of adult dating is profile creating and how to arrange date with your friend. Before submitting your profile you should take simple precautions.
1. First safety measure you should take while creating online dating profile is do not mention your real name, street, address and cell number in your profile for everyone to see. First few weeks you should chat with your alias. First of all try to know a little about other person, only then reveal yourself. Disclose your true identity, once you feel you know someone pretty enough.
2. Except your personal information you can mention each and everything what you want to open for other viewers such as your category, weight, body type, height, likes, dislikes, an introduction about you and what kind of person you want to search as your adult friend. For first week, avoid submitting your snap.
3. Once you have arranged a date with an online friend, always try to avoid coming over to your home on the first date itself.
4. If you want to go for outing, don’t go alone. Pick one of your friends and have double date.
5. Arrange your first online date at any public place like restaurant, café, park etc. So that if something goes wrong you can call people for help. Don’t use their vehicle, drive your own vehicle or call someone to take you there.
6. Truly speaking first date is not a time to enjoy. It is the time to know each other. Thus, try not to drink alcohol on first date.
7. Before leaving for date, tell your friends where you are going. So that in any unfortunate circumstances they can call you.
I am sure that with these suggestions and online adult dating tips, you can make your dating successful.

It’s been estimated that the online dating industry revenue has declined as much as 20% - 30% over the last 12 months. Customer acquisition costs have gone up and revenue has gone down  Where are the people going and are we seeing the end of the subscription based dating service? This revenue slide in the online dating  industry can be attributed to several easily identifiable factors. Quality and user experience is first and foremost for any dating site, the issue that sites face is getting a balance of members and a ratio of men to women on mainstream and adult dating sites that will in turn deliver value to paying members. Keeping this balance in check can be a challenge for any dating site to make money online you don’t need many female members in your database but to deliver a good user experience you do. Men far out number women on most dating sites and for the first time paying member this all looks fine but if they don’t get any satisfaction on the first upgrade they may not renew a second time. If a user has a bad experience on a dating site and feels they have lost money chances are they will not recommend the service to their friends. Reputable dating sites will monitor their database carefully and often have some type of profile verification system in place to help ensure a quality experience. Often members uploading information about themselves are at best very bad when it comes to marketing themselves online, this can also lead to less then satisfactory results. Industry fragmentation - The mainstream players are established and the online dating  industry is heavily saturated, the industry is now fragmenting into niche markets with  free dating and social networking  sites where people can interact and make contact without getting out their credit card. The free business model has clear revenue  alternatives to subscription based to an advertising based revenue model such as PPC that does not burden the users with ongoing charges and can often help the “viral effect” of the site. Paid sites can expect to loose about 30% of their base on a monthly basis depending on their market sector. With a free social networking site members can enter and exit at will without charge and recruit friends without the stigma of being on a dedicated “dating site” Users can maintain a membership over a much longer time frame even if they are in a relationship. Speed dating  has also become very popular and gives users another hands on alternative to subscription based dating sites.  Paid dating services won’t vanish overnight but the big free community based sites are on the rise.

Anyone faced with the challenge of starting a new paid dating site under current market conditions will need to understand considerable investment would be required in order to gain market share, viral marketing will be difficult due to the industry saturation factor unless there is something very unique about the site or application. The large established market leaders have money to burn and established affiliate networks in place that deliver low cost customer acquisition, add this to reoccurring revenue and new comers to the paid dating industry are facing an uphill battle as the industry competes more aggressively for customers. Small companies with minimal staff and overheads have proven they can compete for traffic in the big league and offer the users exactly what they want without charging, these companies can provide a free fully featured service and make a very generous income  at the same time. The advertising based business model has little downside and a big future.

Answer - just about everything. I will expand on this. Just because it’s an online dating world does not mean you have to throw every ounce of class out the window. WE see guys get it all wrong every day. Acting like idiots in chat rooms, bad taste photos in their ads. Bad descriptions in their ads. Contacting members when they don’t fit the profile requirements. The list goes on - the fact is guys will not get the best results unless they learn how to play the online game. This means using some basic skills most of should know from functioning in society on a daily basis. When you meat a girl in the street you don’t walk up and drop your pants, show her your privates and give her your number. Women like to see faces, nice body shots, maybe Mr privates can be included but that should be in a private gallery or exchanged by email on request. Guys need to play the game a little even online. Make contact, be polite, respond to what the women are looking for in their profiles. Women get hit by so many replies to their ads that they are only going to respond to the ones that stand out and address their needs. Online dating is an easy skill - you want results improve your skills. Just like the off line dating scene some men are much better at it than others. This is not to say you can’t learn the art form! Common or uncommon sense is one of the big things, you can learn it or fake it.

Respect for the opposite sex is paramount here, do to others as you would have them do to you. Girls are going to behave differently depending on what they are expecting so you have to take a good close look at the information they post in their profile and adjust your approach. If a girl says she wants a one night stand or a three some then you can be a bit more risqué with your initial approach. If there is an indication that your prospect wants a relationship then you would be advised to start slowly or consider what your after and not start at all. In effect women post profiles online and wait for the emails to come flooding in - that’s how it goes. Guys don’t get contacted at any where near the same rate so they need to consider that when they respond to an ad they like that they are one of many and are entering a very competitive situation. Many online advances will go straight into the trash can. Get involved, contact some women and see how you go - online dating is a great way to make contact with compatible partners. Try some variation in your approach and stick to what works for you. Thousands of people are meeting every day online using chat rooms, webcam chat and email. Do’s - Use your manners - Ask intelligent questions - Look at and respond to members profiles - Respond to ads where you meet the profile requirements - Give a little information about yourself and what your looking for - Use a good picture or series of pictures - Get a professional photo taken - Be patient - be genuine Don’t - Be rude - be short - use graphic sex shots - don’t rush - Don’t respond to ads outside of their asking requirements - Don’t act like a sex starved idiot (even if you are) Don’t lie about your age or anything else!