Online Dating and Love Information Articles

In a relationship, most often than not, you can blame it on the guys to be inactive in the romance department. Thoughtfulness is the main ingredient to keep a relationship alive. There is really no exact formula on how to be a romantic person and being romantic would naturally come out if you really care and love the person you are with.

Rule number one is to add your own style and personal charm in romancing. If you are backlogged when it comes to romance, here are some simple ideas that you can use:

Personalize It

Giving a woman a jewelry box is an ordinary thing. But if she sees that the jewelry box you bought her is her favorite color, her kind of style and with her name on it, then she might give the jewelry box a second look and cherish it forever. The point is, no matter how ordinary a thing is, if you give it a real thought before buying, then the efforts of choosing a gift that you think would please her would count as being romantic.

Surprises

Do something out of the blue. If your usual night out would mean a dinner date at McDonald’s then a fine dining restaurant of her choice would absolutely surprise her. If you are not used to giving small token of appreciation like flowers or chocolates, then do so once in a while.

Quality Time

If you’re out of the budget and can’t afford to buy gifts or treat your partner to some fancy restaurants, then you must be thrilled that there is a great alternative to all these materials things. Yes, your quality time would be enough. Spending time lazing on the couch in front of some good TV would do the trick. Your sweet gestures and kind words like “I miss the smell of your hair” can even lead to some serious romancing.

The Magic of Touch

It is always a good sight when you see couples walk hand in hand. The sensuality of one’s touch can do wonders. Of course, be sincere and touch only a woman’s “safe” parts like her hair, chin and shoulders.

Being romantic should be a natural thing for someone who’s in love. If you are having a hard time thinking of romantic ways to please your partner just think of something that can make her smile. If you can do that, you would consequently find a way to make her heart jump.

It is unbelievable how many men there are who are awe-struck when it comes to approaching and talking to women. But what I find really appalling is the fact that so many of them are laboring under some unfounded illusions about women that prevent them from making any move whatsoever. Let’s examine some of these misconceptions.

Many men believe that, to be attractive, they have to conform to what women say and want. That’s one sure way to intimidate yourself. Women usually say they prefer men who are tall, dark, handsome, intelligent, rich, athletically built. The truth is, women don’t really know what they want until they see it. They only think this is what they want probably because this is what they’ve seen in their favorite movies or on TV. Most women will be charmed off their feet by men who are smart, charming, funny and good conversationalists.

Another wrong belief is that, to attract women, you have to like what they like and are interested in the things they enjoy. Some men actually pretend to like things that women like, hoping they can create some interest. Nothing could be further from the truth. Whether or not men share the same interests with women is secondary in the realm of attraction and romance. In fact, many women are attracted to men who are their virtual opposites in terms of personality and interests. This is important to point out because some men actually go out of their way to pretend to like the things that the woman they are attracted to likes, which is pathetic and unnecessary.

Even men who are fairly capable of attracting women still have trouble when it comes to sex, mainly because of the misguided belief that women will only sleep with them after they have gone through great and elaborate lengths of courting them. The truth is women, being human beings just like men, have the same needs and desires that we do. And that includes sex. They enjoy sex just like we do. A little experience in this area will convince them that this is true. Usually, women hold off from sleeping with men in order to avoid appearing easy or slutty. It is not because they don’t want to.

A final misconception among men is that if they aren’t any good at dealing with women, they aren’t going to get any better. This is not true. Men usually believe this after years of fear rejection. The fact is that they are unsuccessful with women because they have approached women on the basis of misconceptions. Sometimes they have failed because they lack confidence and women can smell this like sharks smelling blood. But once these men learn to overcome their basic misconceptions, they can approach women with confidence and their fortunes will surely improve.

Like Venice, Paris has always been a magnet for lovers and their affairs. As Woody Allen put it: “As long as you haven’t been kissed during any of those rainy Parisian afternoons, you haven’t been kissed at all.” Paris is where sleepy marriages are rekindled, the flames of passion ignited, vows renewed, and special someones met. But where will you get the most ardent thrill?

Finding your cafe terrace

I will start with an obvious spot: the sidewalk cafe terrace. There are thousands of such in Paris, and lovebirds are a common sight there. The cafe terrace is an enjoyable spot in more than one way. First, they offer a nice resting spot. Second, they make an ideal observatory. The streets become an aquarium, passer-bys are the fish, and you two become the observers. Third, sit down at a terrace where other couples are smooching, and you are part of a community setting a good example to the rest of the world. For all we need is love!

One of my favorite cafes is ‘Les Chevaux de Marly’, inside the Louvre Museum, facing the wing where the Da Vinci Code movie was filmed. Les Chevaux de Marly isn’t your typical sidewalk cafes; the place reeks history, and even when you sit outside you are well protected against the elements thanks to the stone parapet.

Now if you are a die-hard fan of the Latin Quarter, and the St Germain des Pres area, you will certainly want to sit at the terrace of ‘Les Deux Magots’ (A Pair of Old Bachelors). French philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre and his wife, writer Simone de Beauvoir, used to hole up there in the 50s. Rather large and well protected by a long awning, the terrace is a great spot to observe the foot traffic moving along the busy Boulevard St Germain. The atmosphere inside the cafe has kept some of its mid-20th century flavor. A tad on the expensive side, but history and a great view have a price, haven’t they?

More suggestions? Check out the following areas, you’ll find nice cafes: ‘Butte aux Cailles’ (in the 13th district), ‘Place de la Contrescarpe’ (in the 5th district), ‘Place des Abbesses’ (on the Montmartre Hill), and the perennial cafe facing the Pont St Louis, on Ile St Louis, near Quai de Bourbon.

Cool streets to roam

I always advise my friends who take the trip to Paris to discover the city on foot. Walking is the absolute best way to enjoy sightseeing in Paris. And ‘look up’ must be your operative word. Don’t just look at eye level: raise your eyes, and observe what’s above. The ‘upper floor’ scenery is worth it.

For romancing the love of your life, certain places have these very special qualities which will set them apart in your memories of togetherness. I will tell you about three for now, and there will be more to come.

Atop my list, ‘Place Furstemberg’. From the plaza of the St Germain Church, walk toward the Seine and Rue Bonaparte. Turn right into Rue de l’Abbaye. Follow the street to the first short alley on your left. Turn and you end up on ‘Place Furstemberg’. French painter Eugene Delacroix had his studio there, and this makes an interesting spot to visit during daytime. But ‘Place Furstemberg’ takes a whole other atmosphere at night. It is quiet, isolated, and sort of private. The nearby abbey lends it a historical feel. Sitting under the trees, the wooden benches welcome eternal lovers.

My second pick would be the steep flights of stairs leading up to the top of the Montmartre Hill, and the quaint streets below ‘Place du Tertre’. Here again, you would be well inspired to discover the hill during the day, and come back to it in the evening. Montmartre is one of the last areas in Paris to have retained their ‘olden days’ feel. Strolling around the hill at night gives you a whiff of what Paris was like in the late 1800s. Most definitely one of the very best spots to roam hand in hand, stealing a kiss here and there under the quiet glow of the street lights.

As a final destination for this short trip, let me take you to the park located at the tip of ‘Ile de la Cite’. This is the largest of the two islands, and the small park named ‘Square du Vert Galant’ takes its name from King Henri the 4th, a womanizer in his own right (’Galant’ alludes to his reputation as a smooth talker, and ‘Vert’ means the guy was ‘always ready to fire’). Walk to the ‘Pont Neuf’ bridge, go down the flight of stairs opening behind Henri’s statue, and you will wind up on the wharf. There, lined with century-old trees, the park offers a magnificent view of the river Seine and the Louvre Museum. I recommend discovering the spot together during daytime. It is also the port of call of a boat tour operator. Seize this opportunity to boat upstream and downstream. Don’t forget to bring an extra sweater, the temperature at water level is chillier.

More romantic places

I love a good romance, and I would love to contribute to yours in my own way. So I’ll write more about these special Parisian spots in further installments to this series. Meanwhile, you will find more resources on the website Paris-Eiffel-Tower-News. Till then, I wish your couple to grow even stronger.

Looking for romantic vacation spots to spend some quality and romantic time with your loved one? Treat yourself to a romantic vacation in Mexico. It has a number of places where you can recapture the romance of your relationship.

Whether you want to spend your time on the beach or explore historical sites, Mexico has them all. You can spend the evenings partying and taking in all the excitement of the nightlife while still keeping the romance going through the night!

I recommend you take a trip with your loved one to Los Cabos. Los Cabos’ beauty and splendor will overwhelm you. It has a number of activities that you can indulge in during the day and spend time being romantic throughout the night. The place has an incredible nightlife. Los Cabos is also great for a honeymoon. You will find restaurants and nightclubs all over the place. In addition, it has many places where you can play golf and go fishing.

Cancun offers you the serene splendor of the blue ocean, culture, excellent cuisine, and an exciting nightlife besides great enjoyment of water sports. It is one of the top tourist destinations in Mexico and covers the most beautiful marine landscapes in its outskirts. From Cancun you can go for excursions along the Mayan Riviera, where you will find temples, cities, monuments and sculptures of America’s ancient civilization. It is made up of 130 kilometers of beach and natural reserves.

Manzanillo is one of the most marvelous and blissful beach destinations you will find during your romantic vacation. It has fine sands and is rich in natural flora. Most hotels and other hospitality facilities in Manzanillo have first class service which further heighten your romantic get away!

Puerto Vallarta is a lover’s paradise. If you looking a quiet, peaceful and romantic vacation then this is the place for you. Its cobblestone streets and beautiful white buildings with red tiled roofs can easily identify Puerto Vallarta.

Other romantic destinations in Mexico include places that are not on the beach or coast. The town of Oaxaca offers historical attractions and architectural views that cannot be found elsewhere in the country. Black clay pottery from this region is famous. Oaxaca is well known for many other crafts. Nearby, natural attractions include a 2,000-year-old tree and a church built in 1521.

Mexico has much to offer to romantic vacationers. From beautiful beaches to regal cities to romantic places, the country has all that you ever looked forward to for your dream honeymoon or couples getaway. Each location has its own appeal and charm. Mexico has always been a lover’s paradise and winds of romance blows in the air everywhere. A romantic getaway to Mexico should be the next trip in your holiday calendar. Believe me, after you come back you will want to go there again and again.

Tip 1 Don’t try and get over your partner in the arms of another person.

When my wife left me I was fortunate to be going to a church and took the time to see the pastor about the separation. My pastor told me that I should not enter into any relationship for at least two years. He told me that this was for a number of reasons.

i. It was best for my wife that I spend a number of years single so as to give her an opportunity to come back to me. Out of respect he advised that even though she was already in a new relationship that it always took one partner to stay single to give an opportunity for the estranged partner to return. He told me to pray for her to come back and wait at least two years for her to come back.

ii. It was best for me to have a couple of years being single not only to get a handle on my emotions but to give me time to heal. He said it was essential for me to deal with the issues that were wrong in my marriage and to draw closer to God before I entered into another relationship.

iii. It was best for any future partner that I had dealt with my inner demons before I started to go out with them. So many marriages are formed from desperation and loneliness in both the people that join rather than happy single people joining. The pastor told me that my future partner deserved a healed and whole partner and that could only be achieved if I took the time to work on myself. He pointed out that if I rushed into another relationship that it was not love for my future partner but selfishness and a lacking in me that had propelled it.

I took my pastor’s advice and during the next few years grew a lot closer to Jesus Christ in a lot of study and personal experience with Him. Now it’s fourteen years later and I have only had one other significant relationship in that time and am very close to God. I have now decided to remain single so I can serve God more fully in the future as a single man. I am very happy in my decision and in a very good state emotionally in that area of my life.

Tip 2 Try and remember the good times in your marriage rather then the bad.

You can cut yourself to pieces running over and over the bad things in your marriage in your mind. Thinking constantly on these things will destroy you and pull you into a bad depression that will take, in many cases, medication to get out of.

You had some good times in your marriage. You went to some romantic places and had some wonderful times together in each others arms. There were restaurants and memorable embraces and kisses and times between the sheets. It is not dirty to think on these good things and it is not wrong to remember these things.

You will smell aftershaves on other men that remind you of your former partner if you are a woman. Don’t dismiss the memory of the man you loved when this happens in the future, take the time to think about the good times when this makes you think about your partner.

You will hear a song on the radio that reminds you of your partner. Don’t turn the radio off, listen to the song and let the tears flow if they must. Your partner will always be a part of you. Don’t think a court decision and a piece of paper that signifies your divorce will stop the songs from playing and the memories from catching you off guard.

Let me tell you the memories will come for years and years. It is better that you switch from thinking about the bad times in these instances and think about the positive things. This will help you to know and will help you through the years to come.

Tip 3 Try not to speak badly too often about your former partner.

Speaking bad about your former partner does not often hurt him. Often the only person it is hurting is you as you dredge it up again. There is a time where we have to get things off our chest, then there is a time where we have to put the hurts away once and for all and talk about the future and the possibilities of new love and romances.

Sure, your partner hurt you. My partner put me in a psychiatric ward with a nervous breakdown after two weeks without sleep. This was done with many phone calls and some very clever witchcraft. This was a very sad thing and now I suffer from both Bipolar and Schizophrenia which both give me a lot of grief, yet my wife was only doing what she felt she needed to do and I have forgiven her for this.

Many of you have been hurt more then me. It is so hard not to speak badly and confess the things that your partner did to you, but you need to learn to speak of the good things he or she did too, and you need to learn the lessons that these bad things taught you or else you will find the same thing happening with future partners.

Remember you married a person that you once loved. You shared some good times together. Your partner might not be as strong as you and the last thing that they need is for the whole world to know how bad that they are. You knew them first hand and you know a lot of their faults that no one else gets to see in day to day life. Try and keep that close to your chest as best you can.

My wife had a spirit that she used to take me down. Some people might call it a spirit guide. In the process of what she did to me I learned quite a lot about this spirit called the Jezabel spirit. Armed with this knowledge my wife had done me a great favour when I encountered other females in my future with this same spirit helping them to try and destroy me and render me ineffective in ministry. I look back fondly at my wife’s assault on me now and appreciate her for the wisdom she gave me about the ways and practices of the Jezabel spirit.

You see people, I can speak of a very traumatic experience in my life that resulted in me having two mental illnesses and put a positive spin on it and make this wife of my youth look like a hero.

We all like a movie with a positive ending. Try and think of the bad things that happened to you and learn the lessons that you need to learn from them. Then as you figure out the lesson you learned, learn then to speak about how your former partner did you a favour in teaching you that. Make your bad ending of your marriage a positive ending, so much so that in the future you can speak fondly of your former partner and the lessons his bad behavior taught you.

Tip 4 Learn to forgive by walking in your partner’s shoes.

Forgiveness in a very touchy issue. People might simply stop reading now that I have brought it up. But bear with me.

A month after I was separated I was talking with my wife’s best friend and the friend was trying to convince me that I did not want my wife back. She was having a hard time convincing me so she told me some truth that I didn’t know. She told me that on five occasions that she knew of, my wife had slept with other men while I was with her. I was shocked and asked questions and she went into a lot of detail about each of the encounters. She told me all of this because she loved me and respected me and honestly wanted me to move on with my life and not to try and pursue my wife, her best friend anymore.

I got off the phone and wept. How could my wife do that?

Out of respect for my wife’s best friend who had told me, I never brought the subject up with my wife to betray her confidence in me, but I was hurt deeply inside as I knew some of the times my wife played around she had came home and made love to me also. The thought of that disgusted me and I felt like I had been really disrespected.

The only way I was able to forgive that was to come into knowledge of how my wife was feeling when she was doing it. It was obvious to me that I was simply not good enough for my wife. Somehow my wife needed constant affirmation that she was beautiful and attractive and worthy of love. She found this in the arms of other men who were only too happy to take her to bed. And who could blame these guys? My wife had rich olive skin, dark brown eyes and a nice body that most men would find attractive. She was a fun sort of girl and enjoyed herself in bed, a fine kisser and very seductive when she wanted to be.

I was heartbroken but how could I blame the guys? Most of them weren’t even told that she was married and simply thought they were scoring a night with a twenty year old girl who was keen to be with them.

And how could I blame Sharryn, my wife? If I was not enough for her, if I didn’t make her feel fulfilled as a women, a wife and a mother, how could I blame her for going other places to find excitement? And that’s the sad truth about many affairs that I had to come to grips with and perhaps you might have to come to grips with. Sometimes we simply are not good enough to keep our partners in only our bed.

Of course it wasn’t all my fault. I was doing my best as a husband but I simply was not living up to what she had married. Sharryn had a problem and it is that problem that I focused on in order to find the place in my heart so that I could forgive her. I had to see it in her shoes. I found out about her in books about sexual abuse victims of which my wife was one.

So take the time to try and understand why your partner did that bad things in your marriage. You need to understand why they did what they did so that you can forgive them. And you need to forgive them or else you will walk around really bitter and this will hurt you for many years to come.

Even whilst in agony on the cross, Jesus said, “Father forgive them for they know not what they are doing.”

What a man hey?

Jesus was totally innocent. He was a man of love. And just like us he was hurt, beaten and mistreated. And yet in the midst of his agony and just before he died he asked God to forgive all the people who had put him on the cross and all the people that were laughing at him at the foot of the cross.

He forgave you for all your wrong doings on that day. That is the essence of the Christian faith and you can write to me for more information about that if you like.

So if Jesus forgave you on that cross, can’t you forgive your former partner?

Take the time and get to the bottom of why your partner did what they did. This will not only help you in your life in the future, but it will also help you become a better partner in the future.

Tip 5 Don’t fight with your partner though the divorce.

People die and everyone goes to a funeral and they say all these good things about the person and there are many tears that abound. There are many regrets when some people die suddenly as many loved ones didn’t get the chance to say things to the departed that they wanted to say.

Yet a marriage dies and so many people fight like two dogs in an illegal dog fight. The friends take sides and the fight gets really ugly. A fortune is spent in law courts and people say such terrible things about their partners in official documents.

My wife lied 19 times in her affidavit for the custody of my child. Some of the things that she said about me were very hurtful and I did not like judges, lawyers and people reading that affidavit with all those lies about me.

Yet this is the case many times in divorce courts. Many hurtful things are said on paper and are on record before strangers. It’s disgusting and even more disgusting if the parties are supposed to be born again Christians.

God spoke quite clearly in the prophet Malachi when He said, “I hate divorce.”

A better way is not to fight. You can only have a fight when both people are fighting. If one person refuses to fight then the other person does not get as much satisfaction. I prepared and affidavit that addressed all of the 19 lies and showed how they were not true and then a judge in my taxi cab as a customer told me that my wife would be possibly put in prison if that affidavit was presented in court.

I was struggling whether I should clear my name from the lies of my wife in my affidavit or change it and just accept the lies going down on record in the court when I had another passenger jump in my taxi. He spent 45 minutes asking me about all my life and giving me a few scripture verses that answered each situation that I talked about. He had me in tears and by the time he left my taxi I was really happy and I had all the answers I needed, I was not going to fight.

A minute after he left my cab and went into the airport I followed him to thank him and I looked everywhere in that airport. And believe me I searched everywhere and he had disappeared. To this day I know he was an angel sent to me with a message. I have since spoken to Jesus and he has told my in my spirit that indeed it was angel.

And the angel’s message?

Don’t fight with your partner!

Tip 6 Always hold a special place in your heart for your former partner.

Your prayer life, your Christian life and even if you are not a Christian, your life will be a whole lot better if you continue to keep good thoughts about your former partner, and keep a special place in your heart for them.

My wife is my hero, she was my first love, she made me very happy and she gave me a wonderful son that I am very proud of. My Sharryn was a champion and gave me many happy days and nights. Losing her sent me into a path toward God that has just got better and better over the years.

She is always in my prayers and I always pray for her marriage. Though she got dirty and stopped me seeing my son seven years ago, I still know she had her marriage and my son’s interests in mind when she made the decision. If a person is hurting and has had a bad upbringing and been hurt by her step father and her mother you have to cut them a bit of slack. I address my reasons why I stopped seeing my son in another article.

It’s best, if you have children to keep a little love in your heart for your former partner. Love always makes things easier. So you can’t bear to live with your partner anymore, that’s fine, but love them from a distance. Feel sorry for them if you must, but keep the love for them burning in a special hidden place in your heart. Pray for them and treat them as nice as you can. Perhaps your love for them will be like after sales service.

We all love a company to treat us nice after we have already bought their product. That sort of company has us going back to them time and time again. The way you treat your former partner through the divorce and years to come can have a great effect on them and even give them the courage to change.

In closing, let me pray for you.

Father in heaven,

I pray that this article has made sense to the reader. I pray that they realize that I did not write this for profit or for me to make any money of me to benefit in any way. Father I pray that they might read this and re-read this and take on board my 6 tips and apply them to their life. Father I ask that you tend to their hearts and that you give them good opportunities to purge their pain and talk about their hurt in constructive ways over the coming years. I ask that you bring healing to their lives, bring good friendships and much love into their life. I pray you lead them to the right books, the right films and the right sermons or talks that they need to hear. Let them heal and let them laugh and have them be able to speak about the hurt in the future and bring encouragement to other people’s lives.

If they do not know you as their God, I pray that you might speak into their life more and more though people they know already and people they might know in the future. I pray that you take them by the hand and bring forth a good destiny for all people that read this prayer.

When you are walking in the mountains, high up there in Nepal, there is always a problem to be faced. Things are always in a dance with each other. The clouds might be low but there is warmth. The rain is coming down but there is a cozy fire somewhere. The sun might burn but the visibility is amazing. The wind can be freezing yet, it blows away the cloud and leaves photographs inspired. You may be tired, but the altitude you gained may bring you closer to your self. Your feet and knees are sore, but you meet a Sherpa and hear something that changed your life. You may get stomock upset but because you take a break, you meet monks on the way and stop and talk.

Life is how you see it. That person who is trying to create patterns of pleasure will be wanting the clouds to go away, the soreness to subside, the cold to become warm, the warm to become cold. They will be wanting the belly to clear up and the wind to stop. The one who is with love will praise the sunshine, the clarity, and the gift that always exists in the shadow of the darkness. You choose this approach here in the mountains. Because wishing the obstacles removed tires you, weakens your resolve. You know, that a mind that is wishing things to be other than they are, is the mind that never left home.

It is most evident when I am staying in a village. There on the hillside, sits a monastery. An old, old monastery. It becons but the thought of trekking up to it spoils the attraction. Here I am in a warm lodge and there it is way up there. I can see the goal, the clearer I see the goal, the worse it is. The next day, it is time to move to the next lodge, It is 6 hours away, I pack my gear, eat breakfast and trek on. I dare not think of how far or how high I must journey, it would turn me around. Each step becomes a joy, an obstacle here and there, problems to solve, one cannot keep looking up to the top, and thinking, “I wish it would come near” it won’t, and doesn’t.

Yet, on this day, I climb 10 times the distance of that monastery. I am willing to do so because every step is a moment in itself, I am forbidden that luxury of sitting in the lodge, looking up at the end result and wishing it to be near. That luxury, wanting to remove obstacles is what keeps us safe and warm and dead in our spirit. We look, we think of the hardship and then, with resolve find good reason not to do. We sit, and think of what it might have been like to stroll up to that monastery and find good reason not to have done it.

Problems of this nature face us every day in our life. We must understand our patterns and ways of dealing with those issues lest we become like the trekker, who sits in the warm lodge, sees the difficulty of the achievement and elects, rationalizes the negation of it. This is the death of the spirit and the life of the average person.

There are two typical habits that you will need to overcome in order to be authentic in dealing with lifes problems.

The first is the the temptation to suppress them. The second is the temptation to run away from them

Both provide an escape from problems. But anything that prevents the understanding of a problem at its core, means that the problem will go on tomorrow. Any problem that goes on day after day, kills the spirit.

To solve a problem we simply try to understand it at its core. Once we understand something we have learned from it. And we must make sure that we achieve that understanding on the day it occurs, otherwise, this problem from yesterday, adds to this problem from today to create 2 problems and now a third, which is the accumulating tiredness one feels when problems accumulate.

If we carry problems forward, we kill the spirit. We become insensitive to others and hypersensitive to ourselves. This is a fearful and ugly state of mind. The whole spirit of the person becomes defensive and mature. their innocence is dead and they loose the joy and lightenss of being. The ugly man. The ugly woman. they are beautiful souls whose problems have accumulated. Accumulated for years, tens of years, some think lifetimes. It is not important what good things you carry forward, they are your automatic skill, but it is important what problems you carry forward because these are the burdens that hold your heart heavy when it should be light.

False solutions are very common. People are most second hand people. They repeat, and repeat. They are second hand because their self is on holiday and some other person has become their self. A guru, a preacher, a Lama. No, we can be authentic only by experience. If you follow a guru your solutions are not authentic. They are second hand. Only you can know the solution.

You can recite the Gita backward, you can learn the sanscrit and speak the sutra, but you are still only a parrot. repeating some words that got written. Where are you in this? you believe one thing but not another. Therefore you are mind. No heart, just a mind, accepting something, rejecting something. No true you can be there in listening to the guru. One psychic is just as illusioned as the next. and when they earn their income from your followership, you are guaranteed to be deluded, they cannot tell the truth, it is unattractive to you, and you would reject them. Truth always disappoints.

You might quote someone famous in your speech, or even tell some story you heard from an ancient book, but you are not solving problems you are creating them. Instead of the emptiness of truth, you are finding the fullness of lies. Self deception is always possible if pleasure is your goal.

The pleasure seeker is in trouble from the start because what they seek is not understanding, they seek confirmation. There are those who have found a dead end after 30 years of searching for self actiaulization because the whole time they were seeking to escape from someone or something, they were seeking pleasure and now they have found a dead end, a raod blokc, there is no more pleasure at the end of their 30 years of searching than there was 30 years ago. Wasted, although there we moments of hope, moments of high, the lows were there too. Nature guaranteed it.

Love is the answer to the problem. Love cannot be a memory, no that is a second hand person, thing this or that is what love can be. Yes, love is the answer to evey problem. but what is love? Nature is love because she does not defy the laws that created her, she does not seek pleasure or anything, just obedience to the powers that manifest the universe. So, mechanically we can say we know what love is, it is a feeling that is created when the mind is seeing things in a certain way. In other words love is there, nature assures us, the mind can block it, the mind can unblock it. If the mind thinks in a certain way it becomes the seeker of love, if it thinks in a certain way it becomes the gateway through which the love we have access to, comes out.

So the mind that seeks the balance is no longer seeking the pleasure. The pleasure is the imbalance and the displeasure is the balance. Stolen pleasure, could you bare it? That is the mind that solves and understands problems. because the only problem you ever experience is the loss of love. All problems, all stress, comes from the mind that is blocking love. Why? Because that mind belongs to the lonely person the lonely person who can’t stand their own company, seeks to identify itself in pleasure. Can you see this? The search for pleasure is the escape. The escape from what? the escape from loneliness, from the problems of being a human being in a body.

Denail – the suppression of problems creates pleasure, but never happiness. Running away to the four substitutes creates pleasure, but never happiness. Happiness comes from love. None of those things denial or running away create love..

A tree lives with problems and solves them by being a tree. Humans live with problems but solves them by becoming someone else. Humans say “ I will become that person, or this life or that religion” Humans complicate it, the distort being themselves. And each time they add another expectation they add a disturbance.

Seeking pleasure adds more disturbances. Ambition, competition, greed, status, envy, domination, attachment and power, they cause the disturbance in the process of seeking pleasures. What the pleasure seeker is unaware of is that nature guarantees two sides, balance. Each pleasure has a pain. Denial and running away, accentuates the increased pleasure of being away from a problem and therefore an increased pain in emptiness and lack of love. Synthetic love, pleasure seeking love is a sad end for a life.

Relationships are the greatest escape from loneliness and pain. To enter a relationship based on pleasure is guaranteed to cause failure. Because that person who seeks pleasure can not be satisfied by it. They are unhappy, lonely so they seek. the seeker is always a seeker, so they can have no peace. And in peace there is love. Contentment is a precondition to love. So the spiritual seeker, the religious god hunter, the alcoholic or the sexual predator, they are all the same, they cannot love. They cannot love. They can mimick what they know love could, should, would be if they act out a certain behavior or do a certain trick, but they cannot love because love is the emptiness of existence.

To love you must be comfortable with dissapointment, with loneliness. Yes, these are not the pleasures we seek, they are the pains we run away from, the problems we try to deny or escape. But that is the contradiction of humanity. We fill up the space that love can exist in with activity, with Gods and goddesses, with Ipods, televisions, telephones, ex husbands, silly friends and needy families. We fill the space of love with food and drugs and activity and romance and where are we left? We are left fearing problems that might reveal our comoflage. If the lifetyle that hides our fears is disturbed we are revealed. And this is the meaning of the word relationship.

Disturbance. Yes, your relationship is automatically going to disturb your mind. It is going to reveal, not create problems. And those problems, if they accumulate, will deaden the spirit. If we do not understand relationship we cannot have love in it. It will disturb us and then we can either deny or run away. But we cannot love anymore. When we do not solve the problems of the last relationships through understanding then we carry these into the future and there will be disturbance accumulating. We are deadened, except for sex and some windows of intimacy.

All love comes in emptiness. It is easy to love a tree or a mountain scene. We didn’t expect it. But if we see a magnificent tree and then go to the next pleace and say “oh, this tree is not as good as the last tree, or this tree is better than the last tree, we cannot know love anymore, because we are now pleasure seeking. Innocence is lost. So, if there is no understanding of relationship, we are unable to solve the problems of it.