Online Dating and Love Information Articles

There are an amazing variety of sex toys available. Sex toys vary from purely male or purely female sex toys to toys that can be used by both sexes. There are also some sex toys that can also be classified as sex aids or marital aids.

The Purpose Of Sex Toys

Some sex toys aid the man’s erection, stimulate the female genitals to become more sensitive or provide a different feel to ‘normal’ sex. Other sex toys provide an ‘environment’ for variations in sex, for example so called orgy bed sheets. Sometimes they are used to help a person who has difficulty with unaided sex to achieve sexual satisfaction. However most sex toys provide a new way to directly stimulate the male or female genitals to achieve sexual satisfaction.

Using sex toys can provide new experiences and variation in the sexual experience. It can also provide a fantasy element for enhancing or revitalising a relationship.

The usual expectation is that a sex toy provides direct stimulation of the genitals in foreplay and/or during sexual intercourse or as a means to obtain orgasm through only the stimulation provided by the sex toy.

Types of Sex Toys

Vibrating Sex Toys

Probably the most well known sex toys are ‘vibrators’ which, as the name suggests, provide stimulation of the genitals using vibration. They are mainly used to stimulate the clitoris, but may also be used to stimulate any other part of the female body or that of a man’s.

The simplest of these are pencil or wand shaped (though normally thicker than a pencil). A good example is the Ceramitex vibrator. They often have an internal battery (or two) which powers a small electric motor. Sometimes the battery pack and controller are external and connected to the vibrator by a wire. This motor is fitted with a small, out of balance, weight attached to the shaft. As this weight rotates it throws the motor and vibrator into a small circular movement which causes the vibration you feel.

With a vibrator that has a controller, as the power is increased the speed of the motor increases and with it both the rate and strength of vibration. Both the strength and rate of vibration effects how stimulating you find the sex toy. The best effect may not be as strong and as fast as possible. The optimum settings may well change as your degree of excitement builds. To get the best results it is worth buying a vibrator which is controllable.

Different vibrators will have different characteristics and you may well find you prefer one combination much more than another and your preference may even vary depending on which part of your body you are stimulating.

More recently electronic vibrator controllers have appeared which provide not only the static control of power/speed but also allow you to select patterns of power pulses and surges. These can be very effective.

There are also other vibrating sex toys such as butterfly stimulators and vibrating penis rings.

Other Powered Sex Toys

There are some sex toys that use other ways to provide mechanical stimulation. These usually depend on a motor that makes the sex toy continually change its shape which provides a sort of rotational movement or makes it move back and forth. The back and forth movements are sometimes powered by an air pump rather than a motor. The movements have been used to create, for example, mechanical licking tongues, vibrators that ‘penetrate’ the vagina and mouth simulators to give a man a ‘blow job’.

On a bigger scale and much more expensive, there are ’sex machines’ that incorporate thrusting and vibrating dildos.

Combination Sex Toys

So far we have covered vibrating, moving and thrusting sex toys. As you may have guessed these are all offered in a bewildering array of combinations.

A common combination in many ‘Rabbit Style’ vibrators is clitoral stimulation using vibrations and vaginal stimulation using movement and sometimes a thrusting motion as well. An excellent example of these is the Hitech Crystal Fantasy vibrator.

Many sex toys add varying textures to their surfaces; a dildo or vibrator may have ridges or soft spikes or a rippled shape.

Sensation Change Sex Toys

Some sex toys rather than provide vibrating or moving stimulation, change the feel of sex.

For instance there are a variety of sleeves to put over the penis to provide different sensations for both partners while engaged in penetrative sex.

There are rings that squeeze the base of the penis and/or tighten the scrotum that assist the man’s erection and also changes his sensations. There are penis extenders and thickeners which may give a man’s partner greater sensations during penetration.

There are a wide variety of lubricants that can significantly change the feel of sex.

There are PVC and Polyurethane bed sheets that are water and oil proof that can be used for slippery or messy sex.

Why Use A Sex Toy?

A good question is: why do people use a sex toy? Surely fingers, tongues, penises, clitorises and vaginas etc all provide great sexual stimulation and enjoyment.

Well, apart from therapeutic uses (eg erection assistance), sex toys can drive the imagination (being taken by a machine), provide variety (new ways to do old things), vary the stimulating effects in otherwise normal sex (penis sleeves) and some can provide experiences not possible with ‘normal body parts’ (particularly vibrating sex toys and electro-stimulation).

Where To Start

If you have not tried a sex toy before and don’t yet have an idea of what you might like, try one of the simpler vibrators first. Most probably you will enjoy the experience and then start to wonder what other delights can be found with more sophisticated vibrators and other sex toys …

If you then find you do enjoy sex toys try out a few others and find what suits you. Above all, have fun trying them out!

Is there ever such a thing as “No Strings Attached?” Can a friendship between two people withstand casual sex? Or is that just an idealistic concept?

One night stands aren’t as in as they used to be. Now lovers are coupling up for more long term sex. It’s called “Friends with Benefits”. They get all the benefits of a relationship without the commitment. They start out as friends. They enjoy each other’s company and then one night start sleeping together.

They don’t date. It’s not a traditional “significant other” type relationship. In many cases, the other friends don’t even know about their sex on the side. It’s set up as a mutual gratification, friends helping friends arrangement.

What most Friends with Benefits fail to do is set up the rules. It generally starts out as either happenstance or perhaps a small dialog exchange, “I don’t have anyone, you don’t either, so let’s do it, no strings attached. What do you think?” It all sounds well in good; at least initially when both are hornier than a unicorn. But can friends who sleep together remain friends once it ends? Or is the start of mutual sex the start of the end of their friendship?

Sex creates a bond, no matter how discussed up front it is. Someone always gets hurt in the end of a no strings attached, Friends with Benefits arrangement. Booty Calls always start out with mutual orgasms as the sole purpose. Yet when two people share that kind of closeness, and if it’s a recurring buddy booty call, then they spend time together. Someone is doing something very intimate with and to the other. Who isn’t always appreciative of a good orgasm?

One or both may know that they don’t want a commitment and that’s why the No Strings Attached agreement was conceived. But when the “ooh baby, ya that feels so good, I love what you do to me” occurs regularly, how can they NOT start to feel something for the other? One person will inevitably feel a stronger emotional bond than the other; it’s not male/female bias. One will still only love the physical benefits and the other will enjoy the great sex so much that they get attached, even though they weren’t looking for any relationship.

Or perhaps one person may have always been secretly attracted to the friend and knew the other didn’t want a relationship, yet figured a Friends with Benefits arrangement was better than nothing. Hence they verbally agreed to the arrangement but emotionally they were already hooked.

Develop some rules before entering into any such arrangement. Consider these suggestions: No going out with each other unless it’s in a group situation or you know the night will end in sex, therefore the outing is part of foreplay, no public affection, no gifts and any other boundaries you want to instill. Before it starts, decide how it will end. If starting out as friends, the goal is to end as friends. If new love interests were previously discussed among friends, shouldn’t those types of conversations still be allowed?

I’LL START TOMORROW (WELL, MAYBE THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW)

Are you one of those people who seem very comfortable with self-defeating acts in the moment? But later, when the moment has passed, do you hate yourself for behaving that way? Do you know anyone (including yourself) who indulges a passion for desserts no matter what the cost? Do you wonder why his or her (or your?) sense of regret doesn’t lead to different eating choices the next time? Do you (or anyone you know) distract yourself from important tasks such as schoolwork or a job by partying, watching TV, daydreaming, and so on, and then justify it to yourself or others? It may feel great at the time, but the remorse that inevitably follows is like that killer hangover that also fails to motivate constructive changes. When you promise yourself to do better the next time—as you do when you say “I’ll start my diet next week” and you still fail to follow through—you’re left with a strong sense of betrayal, remorse, and guilt for having failed . . . yet again.

ARE YOUR FANTASIES A SUBSTITUTE FOR REAL SATISFACTION?

Are your fantasies the major source of your happiness? Think about your weight fantasies, your relationship fantasies, your sex fantasies, your fantasies about power, parenting, money, and success. If you want to make your fantasies become realities, you need to change. Pick your dream. Go ahead. Is it a dream of being powerful, admired, creative, great in bed, wealthy, the world’s best parent? We all have dreams—nothing wrong with that and nothing too surprising either. What is surprising is how often these dreams remain out of reach to us despite our great desire to achieve them and despite knowing that our happiness depends on fulfilling them.

LOVE, SEX, AND ROMANCE, OR WHY YOU CAN’T GET NO SATISFACTION

Remember your fantasies about acquiring great sexual power, appeal, and success like movie stars? Remember your dreams of great everlasting love from the protagonists of romance novels? As adults, if these fantasies don’t become transformed into realistic life satisfactions, it’s a sign of serious underlying conflicts. Does that mean that perfect beauty and/or a buff physique are necessary for happiness? No. We all probably know people who are average in looks but very powerful in sex appeal. And there are those who are well endowed with looks but are inept at romance and love. The important question is, how and why do we fall short, and why is it so difficult to change?

Here are some common signs of underlying trouble. You’re great at seducing someone, but run the other way as soon as he or she falls in love with you. You lose interest in sex with a willing, attractive, and sexy partner, yet there was no such problem in the beginning of the relationships. You need pornography, or fantasies with someone else, or fantasies of your partner having sex with someone else, in order to get aroused. You need a good fight with your spouse as a prelude to sex. If you notice that any of these issues apply to you, you’ll soon learn what’s behind these patterns, and how to use that information to overcome them.

SEXUAL AFFAIRS, OR NEVER GETTING TOO INVOLVED WITH ONE PERSON

What do you think motivates someone to have affairs when it can be so completely detrimental to one’s well being? You may say that the person who is engaging in the affair feels excited, or is having a great adventure, but in fact the behavior is usually truly self-destructive. The chapter “Why Can’t I Fall in Love or Stay in Love” will explain why so many people have affairs instead of serious long-term relationships.

ANOTHER BAD RELATIONSHIP, OR WHEN WILL I EVER LEARN?

For many of us, it’s hard to understand the motivation of people who complain about partners who mistreat them but don’t stand up for themselves and/or leave. You yourself may notice that you have an ability to attract a desirable partner, but then become critical of him or her.
Why, you wonder, do you (or others) choose partners with qualities that seem so mismatched with your (their) own? What do you make of the shy person married to a domineering person? Ever wonder how you’d be affected if you needed to have everything in its place but were married to a disorganized slob? Why make that choice in the first place?

As you read on and start recognizing a few simple principles, you’ll find that it’s becoming much easier to figure out the choices you and others make.

WHEN SUCCESS AND MONEY ELUDE YOU, OR I COULDA BEEN A CONTENDER

Failure to achieve success, to make their ambitions come true, is a major source of distress for a lot of people. Does career or school success elude you completely, or do you undermine yourself after you achieve success at work or school?

Perhaps you dropped out of school even though you wanted to be someone? Maybe you’re a perennial student who’s afraid to graduate into the real work world? Or maybe you can’t reach your professional goals despite having talent to spare and opportunities waiting? So what’s the problem? Is it possible that your problems with success revolve around money? Many people habitually lose money when investing, even though they have years of experience in the market and have read everything on the subject. Do you have similar problems with money and success?

Have you ever noticed that after accomplishing academic, career, or financial goals, some people become increasingly anxious or depressed? Have you ever seen someone avoid taking credit for the successful outcome of a big project while attributing the success to others or to simple “good luck”? Do you find it ironic that the happiness normally associated with personal achievement is replaced by worry, unhappiness, or excessive modesty? Sometimes problems with success and money are really about the following two issues, best summed up as: Why Am I Such a Wimp? And I’m a Worthless Nobody. Let’s tackle the Wimp issue first.

WHY AM I SUCH A WIMP, OR A LACK OF ASSERTIVENESS AND POWER

Think of the word “power.” What comes to mind? Is it a picture of an influential person who realizes his or her goals, leads organizations, garners respect, and gains admiration? Why is it that for some people, personal power seems to fail them at every turn of their lives? A lack of personal power doesn’t just show up at work or at home, it rears its head in the most unexpected places, too.

When you’re susceptible to sales people who want you to buy products that you don’t really want and definitely don’t need, your lack of personal power is showing. When you can’t turn down requests for money, or conversely, you say no to any and all requests and suggestions—oops, it’s your lack of personal power again. How do you explain people who always act self-sacrificing and can’t help but put others’ needs first? Yes, you’ve got it, it’s that pesky lack of personal power. Now let’s go on and see about this “worthless nobody.”

WHY AM I A WORTHLESS NOBODY?

Many people are plagued by negative behaviors and thoughts that affect their ability to be liked and to feel good about themselves. Does this sound familiar—you can’t accept a compliment, and you’re unable to let yourself be the center of attention? Then there are people who criticize themselves excessively. Ever encountered thoughts like this in yourself? “I’m a baby.” (For “baby” you can substitute words like “no good,” “lazy,” “stupid,” and a whole host of others.) Once you have the word in your head, is it hard to get it out of your head? If so, you can consider yourself to be a member of the “Worthless Nobody Club.” Not one you probably want to be a member of, and one that we’ll deal with in greater detail later. When we do, you may find ways to resign your membership from the club and move on.

ARE YOUR LITTLE ANGELS LITTLE DEVILS IN DISGUISE?

Anyone who has raised children knows how often you can be blindsided by their unexpected behaviors, behaviors that provoke you and are difficult for you to deal with. Some of these exasperating actions are normal parts of a child’s early development, like acting cooperatively, then immediately afterward refusing to do what you want, or like getting very close to you, only to reject you one minute later for the other parent, and like turning to you for comfort, love, and advice, then ignoring you.

If you are overly sensitive to any of these behaviors, and react by acting hurt or threatened, it will cause your children to behave in more extreme and more provoking ways. Chapter 16, “I’ve Become My Mother/Father and My Child Is a Pain,” addresses the question, Why do some of these patterns become increasingly rigid and unyielding as some children get older (especially during adolescence)? Why does this happen no matter how frustrated, angry, pleading, or cajoling you become, no matter how many rewards you promise? You find yourself wondering “What’s gotten into them?” as if they’ve become possessed by the devil, or as if one of the plagues sent down on the Pharaoh was visited upon you instead.

The key to overcoming these problems is to understand which one of your behaviors (hidden from your awareness) is responsible for the behavior that you can’t stand in your child. This book will help you identify which of your words and your deeds are responsible, and then will show you how to use this information to help them get on track.

THE NEW SEE FOOD DIET, OR EATING EVERYTHING YOU SEE

Everyone who has had a weight problem at some time in his or her life can appreciate how difficult it can be to keep under control. In spite of the abundance of diets that prevail, a large number of people continue to overeat and hate themselves for it. If this is the case, then clearly there must be some hidden self-defeating motivations that are responsible for the compulsive habit of overeating in spite of “best intentions.” In the chapter “Why Am I Fat and Why Can’t I Lose Weight?” I’ll describe the six underlying reasons for this. If this is one of your own problems, reading on will help you discover which motive applies to you.

WHY CAN’T YOU GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER, OR SO YOU THINK YOU LEFT HOME?

Why does behavior we hate that originates in childhood continue far into adult life when we’re not even living with our family? If we’re no long under the influence of our parents or our siblings, why are we still controlled by the self-defeating beliefs that have their roots with them? Later in this book, I’ll show you a chart called “How You Create New Moral Codes to Live By” and you’ll understand how you create new moral codes for yourself. The codes or rules are all based on experiences you had while dealing with your parents’ and/or your siblings’ flaws.

GO ahead. Admit it. Women, you’ve thrown caution to the wind in the heat of passion and gave in to an obstinate partner’s reluctance to wear a condom.

Or men, you simply took her word that she is free of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and that she has the test results to prove it–just not with her at the moment. Besides, she’s very selective about with whom she sleeps. All of her partners have been educated and, most important, were healthy-looking.

Furthermore, some of you ladies fell for your man’s alternating expressions of shock and awe when you asked if he has ever engaged in homosexual sex. So you apologized. His reward? Sex without a condom as proof of your trust, love and commitment.

These scenarios are not uncommon and include behavior that could lead to your death. So if you’re going to be sexually active, here are some things you should know before having sex, according to statistics from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention:

* HIV/AIDS was the No. 1 cause of death for African-American women age 25-34 in 2001.

* HIV/AIDS was among the top 3 causes of death for African-American men age 25-54 and among the top 4 causes of death for African-American women age 20-54.

* African-American women are most likely to be infected with HIV as a result of having sex with men.

* The highest rates of STDs are those associated with African-Americans.

* In 2003, African-Americans were 20 times more likely than Whites to have gonorrhea and 5.2 times more likely to have syphilis.

The startling statistics have prompted medical doctors, mental health professionals, religious leaders and other experts to redouble their efforts to educate African-American men and women about safe sex to underscore the peril of unprotected sex. They have begun to urge people to get back to the basics of courtship before leaping into bed. Developing a friendship with your mate can lead to longer, lasting, healthier relationships.

During a courtship, men and women alike will determine whether their partner is honest and forthcoming, which is of the utmost importance when it comes time to talk about STDs. If they are dishonest in their daily dealings, it is likely they will be dishonest with you. Yes, sweat the small stuff, which can represent a pandemic of lies and deceit.

Single people aren’t having good sex like committed couples, including those married. At least that’s what a recent sex survey poll found.

People in relationships, according to a “Primetime Live” survey, are more sexually satisfied than those who are single. The study found that 97 percent of Americans in married or committed relationships are satisfied with their sex life. It also found that 75 percent of those surveyed found marriage more enjoyable than dating.

Could this be true? JET sought answers. A few experts polled agreed, and here are some of the reasons why.

Rev. Dr. Sheron Patterson, senior pastor of St. Paul United Methodist Church in Dallas, says that trust and commitment are foundational for good sex. Women, she observes, crave security and commitment in sexual relationships. That’s often found in “committed” relationships.

‘The primary mistake single people make is having sex seeking commitment and trust,” explains Patterson. “They are actually auditioning to get the person. When you audition, you’re a bit nervous and unsure because you aren’t sure if you’re liked. Once you have the role [commitment],

you feel secure and the anxiety level decreases:’

Continues Patterson, “You’re in bondage auditioning and trying to please. Then afterwards there is the guilt they feel religiously. Those two things keep you from being free”

Patterson, who founded The Love Clinic nine years ago and authored a book by the same title, is encouraging people to move toward marriage through her “Mission Get Married” project. Married for 20 years herself, Patterson believes that couples who marry feel a burden lifted in the bedroom.

“Physically and spiritually there is a transition going from illegal sex (premarital) to legal sex (marriage),” she says. “Marital sex is better because you set aside anxiety and feelings of insecurity. The Bible teaches that sex outside of marriage is sin. When you’re engaged in illegal sex, you feel guilt and separation from God and it causes you not to enjoy it as much. When you get into legal sex, you’re free to enjoy yourself. Single sisters worry about their reputation and being considered a ’slut.’ Society rears men to be sexually active. They are called a ‘player’ or ’stud.’ Women are called ‘whores.’”

You’re fit–and strong. And when it comes to bedding your girl, you nail it last and hard, just the way she likes it. Problem is, it’s not the way she LOVES it. Learn more about the slow groove and you may just realize what women have known for years–slow sex is better.

WHY SHE LIKES IT SLOW

1 Just because a woman is wet, that doesn’t mean she’s near climax. A good rule of thumb: Take the amount of time you think she needs, and double it. If she’s ready sooner, you’ll know it.

2 Synchronicity is overrated. We girls don’t care when we have an orgasm–as long as we get one. The longer you stimulate us–and the slower you take things–the more likely that becomes.

3 Hell, sex is fun. You rush through the workday and always try to be efficient, but when it comes to play–any kind of play–make it count. She needs the break and pleasure as much as you do.

1 Men need more time to recover from sex than women do. It’s called a “refractory period,” and there’s little you can do to speed it up. Meaning, if you get off quickly, that’s it–end of show.

2 Sex is better than Tylenol. According to Annie Sprinkle, Ph.D., a porn star/prostitute turned sex educator, sex promotes the production of pain-reducing compounds called neuropeptides.

3 Two words: stronger orgasms. The slower you take things, and the more times you get close to the edge without going over, the more powerful the release will be when you finally do climax.

SOLD ON THE IDEA? HERE ARE A FEW FOOLPROOF POINTERS FOR LENGTHENING THE TIME OF YOUR LOVEMAKING …

1 Do reps. According to sex therapist Barbara Keesling, Ph.D., the stronger the muscles that control your orgasm are, the longer you’ll last during sex. To strengthen them, contract the muscles you use to step urinating for two seconds and release. Repeat 20-60 times dally.

2 Take deep breaths during sex. Forget reciting baseball stats. If you want to last longer, you need to slow your breathing down when you are close to ejaculating. Focusing on how quickly you inhale and exhale can help you avoid climaxing before you’re ready.

3 While women have just one G spot, men have the equivalent of two: one near the prostate, and one on top of the penis, just below the head. That’s why it’s important to alternate between long and short strokes. You’ll last longer, excite her, and get the extra stimulation you might otherwise have missed banging it like a jackhammer.

This month I a letter from reader in Texas about a “little secret” that has made her sex life with her husband absolutely explosive. (Those Texans know their stuff, let me tell you.)

Last month my husband returned from a business trip in Europe, and he was hotter and hornier than ever before, with more passion than he has had for years. It was incredible. He flat wore me out! And the best part of all–he was having multiple orgasms. I know what you’re thinking … men don’t have multiples, but trust me he was, and his newfound pow! pow! power! stimulated me into the most intense orgasms I’ve ever had. So, before we knew it, we were both basking in the glow Of the best sex Of our lives!We tried tantric stuff in the past, and the results were so-so. But this was something new and exciting, completely out Of the ordinary. I asked my husband what had created such a dramatic change in our lovemaking and he told me he’d finally learned “the ropes.”

On the last night Of his business trip my husband spent an evening dining out with a Swedish nutritionist and his wife of 20 years. The couple was obviously still quite enamored with each other, so my husband asked their secret. The nutritionist told him their sex life was more passionate than ever. Then he pulled a small bottle from his satchel and gave it to my husband. The bottle contained a natural supplement that the nutritionist told my husband would teach him “the ropes” of good sex.

My husband takes the supplement every day. The supply from the nutritionist is about to run out and we desperately want to know how we can find more. Do you know anything about “the ropes,” and can you tell us how we can find it in the States?

Sincerely, Tina C., Ft. Worth, Texas

Tina, and the rest of our readers you are in luck, because it just so happens I do know about “the ropes” and the supplement your husband’s Swedish friend likely shared.

The physical contractions and fluid release during male orgasm can be multiplied and intensified by a product called Ogoplex Pure Extract [TM]. It’s a daily supplement specially formulated to trigger better orgasmic experiences in men. The best part, from a woman’s perspective, is that the motion and experience a man can achieve with Ogoplex Pure Extract can help stimulate our own orgasms, bringing a whole new meaning to the term simultaneous climax!

There is a lot of emphasis on first-date sex. Should you, shouldn�t you? Will he think I am a tart? Do I really want to wake up to him? Do I want to see him again? Here are a list of pros and cons on first-date sex.First-date sex: Pros
You need to test him to see if he can live up to your expectations in the sack. After all you don�t want to fall for him only to find out he doesn�t have a clue how to please a woman.
You think this is “The One,” so why hold back?
You want to serve him breakfast in bed.
You�ve never had a one night stand and want to experience it just once.

You have just had your legs and bikini line waxed, a full body tan and are feeling and looking your best.
You need the exercise and don�t want to pay for the gym.
You feel less inhibited with a virtual stranger.
Sex makes you feel confident.
Hey sex is great fun.

First-date sex: Cons
He might think of you as easy, a tart.
If he is worth it you can wait.
He doesn�t look as attractive in the morning and neither do you.
You wake feeling vulnerable.
You may not respect each other.
One-night stands last one night.
Fast in, fast out.

Trying to get pregnant? Listen to this: Watching sexy movies with your guy may

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help you conceive faster, according to a study conducted at the University of Western Australia. It doesn’t have to be an X-rated film — any hot-and-heavy love scene will do (think 9 1/2 Weeks or The Last Seduction). Researchers found that when men watch a sexy moment right before they make love, they produce more — and better quality — sperm. Why? It’s called “sperm competition”: From an evolutionary point of view, when a guy watches a couple having sex, his primal sense of competition with the other man kicks in, and his body goes into overdrive to produce more powerful sperm — and, ultimately, healthier offspring.

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