Double Your Adult Personal Dating
POWER AND RELATIONSHIPS
One of my favorite books is Gerry Spence’s book “How To Argue And Win Every Time” (I’ve listened to the audio tape version many, many times as well, and recommend it highly). In that book, he talks about the concept of personal power, and how most people give away their power to others.
Here’s one way I generalize male/female relationships.
Variables: 1 Power 2 No Power 3 You 4 Her
Possible Combinations:
1. You have no power, she has no power
This is the attitude characterized by guys saying “You probably won’t like me, and there’s nothing that either of us can do about it.” When people have very low self esteem, combined with learned helplessness they often use these kinds of words. This is the situation when a guy thinks for whatever reason that he’s not valuable as a person, and that no woman COULD want him.
2. You have no power, she has the power
Characterized by “I don’t know what to do. I really like this girl, but I don’t think she likes me. I want her to like me really bad. I think about it all the time. I have to figure out how to get her attention and impress her.” These are the kinds of thoughts of most guys who I come into contact with.
3. You have power, she has power
Characterized by “I like myself and believe that I’m a great choice for her, and I think that she’s a desirable woman. I’m going to give her the opportunity to take advantage of being with me. If she accepts, great… if she chooses not to, that’s fine because I can always find another woman.” This is probably the healthiest mindset, but there are a few problems here. Namely, that most women AND men have a whole truckload of personal issues, neurosis, and inner-children-needing-a¬hug, so it doesn’t come down this way often.
You have power, she has no power
Characterized by “I am the best thing that every happened to you. I take what I want, and you’ll enjoy it. If I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you. If you are too stupid to see the opportunity that is in front of you (me) then you’re an idiot, and nothing can be done to help you… later.” Clifford and I were talking on the telephone a few days ago about the new Motley Crue book. You may have read my newsletter a few weeks ago about that book and what those guys are like. Clifford and I agree that these guys act like complete animals, and yet they bang ALL of the world’s hottest chicks… from groupies to super-models. These guys are the undisputed champs of moral bankruptcy in my book. But they sure get laid a lot. lol… they also spend a lot of time in jail and rehab, so think twice about modeling them! Even though these guys aren’t the best models for children, I think that some useful lessons can be learned from them. More later.